What's Rolling Around In My Head

Grateful

2012-01-15T19:55:00.000-05:00

We had family from Washington State visit us Thursday through Saturday last week. They'd never been to the east coast and probably never will again so we decided to head up to Boston for the day.

We headed up mid-morning and took a trolley tour around the city. Out of the 16 stops you can get out at we stopped at CHEERS (the original) for a beer and The Bar Under The Bleachers at Fenway Park (another beer).

As I was standing waiting for the trolley to come by and pick us up, I looked up and was struck with an overwhelming sense of gratefulness. Grateful to be able to say "no work today!". Grateful for the money to take the day off. Grateful for family to spend time with. Grateful for an adult son that enjoys spending time with us. It was a good good day.

Friday, Friday (Gotta get down on Friday)!

2012-01-06T21:06:00.000-05:00

Whew! Better day today!

Son's car still at the mechanic's so he had to come back home so I could take the car to the doctor's. Then hubs had to come home and pick me up in the afternoon so I could pick up my friend Rocco's homework and deliver it to him. He's been sick all week with the flu and now Pink Eye (stay away from me!). The car is ready but we'll pick it up in the morning. And my son just texted me to say he's coming home to spend the night. Cool - my car will be here earlier than expected and I can get my grocery shopping done early!

Meatloaf got kicked the curb last night in favor of Thai food - vegetable drunken noodles that's all I ever eat. So I made the meatloaf tonight. It's good! With a little sauce of ketchup, brown sugar, dry mustard and nutmeg on top. With it I made Quinoa and Braised Brussels sprouts. They are so delicious. Everything came out great and I like cooking on Fridays because I feel more relaxed. Hubs met a friend for a drink before dinner and it was quiet - no one to torment (sweetly) me while I'm cooking. Sometimes I'm like "please just go watch tv will you?"

So for the last three days I have been trying to knit ONE mitten. One mitten that should take me one evening. But it's been a few years since I knit this pattern and I'm just having so much trouble! The first time I couldn't remember which numbers to follow because usually the number in ( ) is for the larger size. But in this pattern it means using the heavier yarn. The second time before I took it apart I was following the directions for the RIGHT hand instead of the LEFT hand. The thumb was in the right place but in these mittens there's an opening at the palm that you can take your fingers out (so cool right?!) and I followed the wrong directions so the opening was on the back of my hand. Arrgh!

That's what it's supposed to look like and here's a set I made for my niece. She wanted to fold them back so I put a loop and the buttons on the back. I'm using the same color because I had made a "spare" and figured I'd just make a "quick" second. Ha! But if I finally get back in the groove again I have a bunch of different colors because I made a few pairs for people - I can have all these random mittens and wear different colors together - with an equal number of rights and lefts of course.

This weekend there's a book sale at our library's book store. I don't think I can resist! There are some of the best books at these sales. Does your library have sales too?

One of those days

2012-01-05T21:32:00.000-05:00

I know we all have them -- those days that something just sets you off from the get go.

It started with my son calling me at 7:40am for a ride from the mechanic's where he was dropping his car off - which was never discussed the night before. As I told with a head of wet hair "if you told me you would need a ride I would have gotten ready sooner".

It ended with my sister hanging up on me in the middle of a phone conversation because of a semi-joking remark I made in response to her reminding me for the 1 zillionth that her husband has to work every other weekend.

Tomorrow is a follow up appointment with a cardiologist I saw this time last year when my pre-op EKG revealed a Left Bundle Branch Block. I've just been a little slow to follow up to get more answers to the diagnosis.

Let's hope tomorrow is a better day.

Ready to Go!

2012-01-02T08:48:00.001-05:00

Today is the last day of my vacation. I use that term loosely because when you work for yourself, there's never a vacation. The business is always on our minds.

But we learned a good lesson from last year -- it is what it is. When things get slow, do what you can to speed it up but stop and smell the roses as you're doing it.

December 2011 was no exception. Very few people want their homes torn up in the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even if they're signing contracts for work, we know they want to wait until after the new year. We embraced that idea this year.

My husband and I spent 2 days in New York roaming the city and eating at The Stanton Social one night and Pigalle another. I can't forget the fabulous fish and chips we had at A Salt and Battery! That was for lunch when I was dragging my husband all over the city. We also went to the World Trade Center memorial site, Century-21 department store and the Bryant Park and Grand Central Terminal Holiday Markets. It was a great trip and we decided it needs to be a twice a year event because I can't cram everything into 2 days!

But now it's January 2nd and I'm going to let this last day go to waste! I have a small list of things to clean and organize to get my office and myself ready for 2012.

(Macy's in NYC! I was waiting for Martha, and Michael and Jessica to pop out into the aisle!)

Moved a "div"!

2012-01-01T09:25:00.000-05:00

I moved a "div" when I cut and pasted the picture below and can't figure out where it needs to go back to match the closing "div"! They're so tricky those codes aren't they?

And then through trial and error - I fixed it. Don't know how but I'll leave this up so we can all appreciate that I focused on the task at hand!

Happy New Year 2012!

2012-01-01T09:20:00.000-05:00

I love New Years Day!

The newness of the new year - the chance to make a change. I know I can do it all year long (every day, every hour, every minute) and I take full advantage of it but there's something about turning the page, changing the calendar on my fridge that just makes it FRESH.

This year I want to:

Stay focused in my office. Even if that means taking Facebook out of my "most viewed sites" that gives me quick access. I'm a time waster and what I could be doing in 3 hours in the morning can take me all day.
Stop biting my nails and (ugh) the skin around them. I know, it's gross, germy, etc. Oral fixation, self mutilation - call it what you want. It's my last bastion of lack of self-control.
Finish what I start! That would include my work in progress of knitting items, the pile of my father's "stuff" in the basement now co-mingled with the 20 years of photographs that didn't make it into photo albums that I still feel some need to hang on to and the pictures sitting in IPhoto that need to be printed and make their way into photo albums. I personally love photo albums and will never just put them in a box by categories or years. Can't do it.
Be a better wife - less critical, lose the need to "be right" with my opinion.
Be a more of a "friend" and less of a "mother" to the 10 year old boy I mentor.
Wake up each morning with gratitude - not thinking of what needs to be done but thinking about "what a great day this will be"
Stay in touch with people I've left along the way. Hopefully they will feel the same.

If you've been here in the past - I hope you stay. If you're drifted in from somewhere - I hope you'll come back.

Keeping Score

2011-12-09T22:31:00.001-05:00

After a somewhat heated discussion with my sister this evening regarding Christmas gift giving to cousins and the amount we were planning on spending, I realized -- I refuse to go through life with a score card in my hand.

Her comments included "but you know you won't get anything close to that from L and you probably won't even get anything from J". To which I replied "That's not why I give gifts". The discussion was brought on when I said I planned to give gift certificates to two cousins and their significant others to a favorite restaurant in a particular amount of money. Her response was "Oh gift certificates are tough - then they know what you spent on them". Uh, ok...like they don't recognize the bottle from Bath and Body Works that you just bought 3 for $10? How is that any different than a gift certificate?

I have always felt if I have the means to give someone I gift I truly think they'll enjoy, why not give it? I don't keep a scorecard of what each relative did or didn't give me through the years and then compare it to what was spent on them. Heck, if that was the case, I would be ahead since they've been giving my son a gift for the last 21 years (and my sister has TWO kids who have been receiving gifts from the cousins for 21+ years).

You all probably think I'm crazy to even be buying gifts for cousins never mind nieces and nephews! Well the nieces and nephews are the easy ones - they get cash and an ornament! But seriously our whole family (well those that I have to buy for) is small enough that it doesn't really put a time crunch on buying the gifts. So I do what I do. For me it's the giving - not the receiving.

What do you think?

What's Up?!

2011-11-30T12:39:00.008-05:00

Wow! September 10, 2010 was the last post I wrote?? Where does the time go?

My blogger friend Katherine Thomas sent me a comment on my last post to ask when I was going to start writing again. Well, Katherine this is your lucky day!

Here's a quick rundown of the year and I promise I'll elaborate on some of them over time:

1) Went to Playa del Carmen Mexico with my sister and her family to stay at a Mayan Palace resort in January;
2) Came home to snow. and more snow. and more snow. and shoveling. and cold. and shoveling our roof at the lake. Fun times. Fun times;
3) Had a routine pre-op exam for a female issue surgery turn into a nightmare when my EKG was "different" than the one I had in 2006. I was diagnosed with a Left Bundle Branch Blockage. Great - one illness I CAN'T control;

4) Had above referenced surgery, only to have to go and have the same thing done again next week (uterine polyps);

5) My son turned 21. Now that he can "legally" drink I don't worry as much (silly isn't it?);
6) Colonoscopy - great! Love the prep (seriously!), watched the whole thing. Perfectly healthy;

7) The week after I have surgery, my husband is having surgery for a Nerve Sheath Tumor by his knee. 99.9% are benign, outpatient surgery. Our fingers will be crossed;

8) After freakish snow and freakish rain in the spring, the summer turned into the most incredible weather ever. We spent every weekend at the lake. Swimming at 11:00 at night some weekends. Fabulous;
9) Lived through the hurricane and the freak Halloween snow storm without a flicker of lights - Thank you Wallingford Electric Division!;

10) Continue to visit with my buddy Rocco once a week. He's playing the trumpet this year (I arranged the rental so he could do it). He's in 4th grade and having a difficult time socially and emotionally. He's a fairly intelligent kid but he just can't deal with authority as in, stop talking NOW, not when you decide you've said enough. I worry for him also as he gets older at home - there's alot that's passing him by now.
11) Great Thanksgiving, heading to NYC with the husband for 2 days and 2 nights tomorrow, looking forward to some parties after we get home, family, friends and then heading to Maine to spend the week with my sister (of Mexico trip) and her family for the holiday week.

And as I looked through the "Last 12 Months" file of pictures I realized there is so so much more to share!

Thanks for reading - and I hope you'll stick around!

A Toast to a Good Woman

2010-09-14T06:50:00.005-04:00

My Aunt Tootsie passed away on Sunday at 101 years old. ONE HUNDRED ONE YEARS OLD.

She was my mother's oldest sibling by 13 years. She was also the oldest child in the family of 3 girls and 2 boys.

She was born in Yonkers NY in January of 1909 about 6 years after her parents were married and along with her 2 brothers and one sister also born there moved from Yonkers to East Hampton Mass, to New Britain Conn (where my mother was born) to finally Wallingford Conn. Thanks to my grandfather's mother with her loan of a down payment, they settled into a newly built house where Aunt Tootsie resided until the late 1980s.

She left school around 14 years old and worked as a housekeeper for the headmaster or at one of the houses at Choate School in town. Eventually she found her way to Wallace Silversmith where she worked for over 50 years. I have distinct memories of my mother, sisters and I sitting in our car parked at the curb (1963 Chrysler New Yorker that Aunt Tootsie gave us) on a Friday evening waiting for Aunt Tootsie to get out of work so we could go grocery shopping and then either to the Farm Shop or back to her house for dinner. Sunday mornings after my family went to church, we'd pick up the newspapers (only one was delivered - we read 3 different ones every day), we would stop by her house and drop off her newspaper to her. To this day I could probably drive the route to her house with my eyes closed.

She was unlucky in love. Rumor had it the love of her life in the 20s got another girl pregnant and had to marry her. She dated her first husband, Lester, for years but both were taking care of their mothers. They finally got married in 1960 but Lester died of a heart attack 3 years later. She married again in 1978 but he died only 8 months later. I still remember that phone call to my mother. She never married again but for an old lady she always had a boy friend!

She was 75 years old when my mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor. My Aunt Tootsie, along with my Auntie Edna from my father's side of the family, stepped in to help. Every weekday for two months Auntie Edna picked up Aunt Tootsie and they came to our house to take care of my mother so my father and I could go to work without worry. They cooked and cleaned and sat with my mother talking and knitting or crocheting. That's sisterly love for you.

When it was time for her to move out of the house, she moved to senior citizen apartments where she lived alone for 10 or so years until it was obvious that dementia was taking over. During that time my father would stop by to visit her every Sunday after he went to church to make sure she was ok. I started stopping in during the week to visit too and talk to her about family history and look at pictures to keep her going. After a late night fall in the bathroom, she moved to a nursing home where she's been ever since - entertaining her roommates and staff with her stories.

There are so many wonderful memories tied to Aunt Tootsie. Sleeping over her house when my parents went out, playing in the back yard with the old chicken coop or on the railroad tracks that was a feeder line from the steel mill to the main tracks, climbing the telephone pole outside her house (or trying to!), or crushing the red berries on the bushes around the house to make concoctions. My sister falling asleep under the dining room table one holiday and no one could find her. Digging through the books in her book case, the Nancy Drew and Cherry Ames and 1930s romances. Grill cheese sandwiches at the Farm Shop, sugar cookies with colored frosting that we made so many we were sick to our stomaches. She was so much more than an aunt - she had grandmother status.

Rest In Peace Antoinette Gertrude Posluszny Schmitt Fritz!

50 Came....And Went

2010-06-01T20:00:00.007-04:00

Remember way back when I took a hard look at 9 months from 50?

I managed to kick myself into gear physically and lost a few pounds, a pant size or two and altogether feel pretty good about myself heading in to bathing suit weather.

Mentally - eh, I'm me. 50 years worth of mental angst, middle child syndrome. If you don't like me - build a bridge and get over it. What?! I'm 50! a card carrying member of AARP I can say what I want!

The days leading up to the BIG DAY were spent in New York City with my husband. Sightseeing, dining out, and taking in the sights on a Circle Cruise Lines tour.

That night we had dinner with my twin and her husband and my son who I'm always delighted to have around. I bought special hats for the occasion.

And created a birthday present from a poem my twin wrote about Twins that was in my father's handwriting along with pictures from our lives.

Finished off with a Carvel ice cream cake.

It was a great day -- and then it was over and life was back to normal again. I was just another year older.

A Good Man

2010-06-01T19:06:00.005-04:00

My father passed away on March 28th. He was 85 years old. He would have been 86 on June 5th.

He was a good, good man. A happy husband, a good father. He never minded having 3 girls and no boys - he taught us to play baseball anyway. He took us for bike rides and walks on Sundays to let my mother have time for herself. He rarely yelled at us and it was clear to us all that any discussions he and my mother might have were to be conducted behind closed doors and away from our ears.

His mother died when he was 2 and his father died when he was turning 11. His oldest brother was already married and he and his wife took care of my father, a sister and another brother. My father lived with them until he went off to WWII (thrilled to death to have space of his own), and when he came home shared a bedroom with one or two of his nephews. At his funeral one of those nephews marveled at all the time his "Uncle Yunkie" spent with him. Every night for an hour or so throwing a baseball back and forth.

Years later, he taught my son how to play golf and would take him to the driving range to hit a bucket of balls. Even up until he died he would always ask me "Hey, is Cody still playing golf?"

He lived in assisted living for 7 years or so after he had his heart bypass and leg amputation. He loved it but in September we noticed changes in him. Something wasn't right. Then right after New Year's the home had his sent to the emergency room to be checked out. By then my sisters and I had all agreed that he couldn't take care of himself anymore and would have to go to a nursing home. We brought him to one he had been for short term care in the past. It took him a little getting used to - having a roommate and all - but he was really settling in.

I think we all felt a sense of relief for him - knowing he was getting his pills on time and eating well and being kept clean. He had even perked up and seemed to almost be his old self again. That's why the phone call from the nursing home was such a shock. All of us - my two sisters and our husbands and all our kids - felt so lost and abandoned. He was the center of all of us.

I like to think that my mother told him it was time to "Get on up here!" and he knew in his heart it was time to go. I'm glad they are together again. But boy, do I miss him.

Appreciating Basic Necessities

2010-01-25T07:49:00.002-05:00

You never really know what you'll miss until it's gone - or in our case compromised. And that would be the Waste Pipe from our house!

It started a couple of weeks ago -- the washing machine would be running and my son would take one of his 3 showers for the day. I'd go into the basement shortly after and find water on the floor. One day I actually caught it coming out of the discharge pipe for the washing machine. No problem, just don't wash clothes when someone's taking a shower we thought. Until the day I went down there and found water on the floor and I hadn't been washing clothes. Time to call the plumber.

Call Roto-Rooter he said. We did. He didn't find a problem and we couldn't get the water to back up. Looking at the pipe in the basement we found a leak in it which didn't point to much, only that it was time to update those pipes from cast iron to new and improved plastic. Done.

BUT! They discovered water is still backing up. Time to call in the plumbers Roto-Rooter man. He came Friday night, worked through some rough areas and came back Saturday with a longer snake and worked through some more. Ok, cool. But oops, when husband and plumber are trying to put the pipes back together, they discover the pipe IN THE FOUNDATION is broken. Now we have to dig up the yard and replace the pipe from there to there (I still don't understand the logistics) to tie back into the pipe leading to the street. All I know is it's being re-routed because it takes a few unnecessary jogs and this way we don't have to tear up our deck!

Today the wind is howling and we're expecting alot of rain but hopefully those men doing the digging are hardy souls and we will be back with on track by tomorrow. In the meantime we have a little system worked out for grey water, my neighbor's are in Florida for the extreme toilet usage, we put about $25 into the laundromat machines yesterday morning so the clothes are clean and our son went back to college yesterday so he can take as many showers as he'd like.

And the cost? who cares as long as my basic needs are met once again.

Tonite at the Movies

2010-01-07T21:35:00.005-05:00

One of my New Years Resolutions for 2010 is to GO TO THE MOVIES! I'm always reading about new movies and saying how much I'd LOVE to see them and then they come and go before I give it another thought.

This morning my husband offered to take me to a movie this afternoon. My first response was (of course), "Oh I can't! I haven't spent any time in the office this week, I have bills to pay, blahblahblah. But as I was breezing through the work on my desk, I realized it was doable. That's a Jakiela trait by the way -- ask us something and we'll say No, but give us a little time to think about it and we usually say Yes...

There are plenty of movies I could choose from -- It's Complicated; Up In The Air; Sherlock Holmes and Avatar. Any one of them would be a good choice - but which would be the "right" choice for the two of us. I eliminated It's Complicated because I think it might be more of a chick flick and I'll save that for me and my friends or just myself. I didn't know if a self-employed person who spends his life thinking about jobs he has or jobs he didn't get would be interested in people losing their jobs so Up In The Air was out. Sherlock Holmes was a possibility but then dear husband raised the stakes and said that our son was interested in Avatar and would GO WITH US if we went to that. Now realize, our son is 19.5 years old. He hasn't been to a movie with us since he was 14 and we would go on New Years Eve. This was BIG. So of course I chose Avatar.

I confess I hadn't paid any attention to the hype about this movie. I'd seen commercials and thought it was a Star Wars type movie. In the 70s I fell asleep in the theater during the first Star Wars. But when I went to the movies a few weeks ago (Blind Side!), I saw a trailer for it and thought it looked - OK. Just OK. WOW was I wrong!

It's so much fun to watch a movie in 3-D. The plants and flowers and bugs were so real! The story was simple, you sort of knew how it would turn out but it was really enjoyable to watch. I confess I did fall asleep for a little bit but only because it was late afternoon and when my butt falls asleep it travels up my back to my head and I'm out. I don't think I missed anything major and it was not a reflection on the movie! Just my age.

Happy New Year from me and my men. Stay healthy, try to be happy and make every day a good one!

Whole Bunch of This and That

2009-08-06T20:17:00.004-04:00

I spend so much time writing blog and twitter posts in my head but they just never make it to the big screen. Here's a smattering of what's going on in my head and in my life...

First up - my son came down with Lyme Disease. We wasted time and money with a trip to our local Medi-Quik and the doctor diagnosed it as NOT Lyme Disease. He gave us an Rx for an antibiotic and sent us on our way. The NEXT morning he wakes up with a huge bullseye where once there was only redness. We took a trip to our trusted pediatrician group and it was obviously Lyme Disease. They put him on doxycycline for 21 days and that was it. I think we caught it soon enough because he hasn't had any of the flu-like symptoms or achy joints. Some people never get the bullseye so we were doubly lucky. Until....

My son broke his hand. In a fight. At a concert. The very next weekend. He calls me into his room the following Sunday and says "I have something to tell you" which of course would make any mother's heart sink! He brought his hand out from under the covers and it was VERY LARGE. After the previous weekend, and knowing the emergency room where I'd have to take him I told him he would have to wait until Monday. The ER would have us wait for at least 6 hours, take an x-ray, tell us it was broken and for us to call our doctor in the morning. Which is what I did on Monday morning. We couldn't get an appointment until Tuesday but the nurse said it wouldn't start healing on it's own.

Tuesday's x-ray showed us a broken bone in the hand below the pinky. The doctor gave him a shot and set it and casted it and HOPED it would set. In fact, he set it a second time when he didn't like the results the first time. Follow up today and the bone separated. It's pins for his hand. We've got our fingers crossed that they are able to squeeze it in tomorrow - whatever time, 6 at night we don't care! - because Monday the football team starts practice and he's one of the head managers. I haven't heard from the hospital yet but I'm keeping my hopes up!

I have been doing really well in my quest to take care of myself physically and mentally. I have started running again, really putting effort into my workouts and keeping a journal of my food and my moods. With all my efforts, since the 14th of July, I've lost a whopping .6 pounds. I didn't stutter -- SIX TENTHS OF A POUND. How is that possible you ask? Well, when I started it was at 126.6. The following week 124.8 (yay!), the following week 128.8 (Gasp!). That's when I begin to question what I'm eating, my workouts, me. I mean come on! 4 pounds?! I only went to a wedding and a party after. I don't think 3 vodka cranberries, 3 jello shots, and some eggplant parm are gonna add four pounds are they? So I start weighing myself on Thursdays too. That brought me to 128.2, to 125.6 on Tuesday and now to 126.4 on Thursday. This I know: I'm 49 years old, I'm 4'10 3/4", I have 1/2 a thyroid so I take levoxyl, I'm perimenopausal and I'm obsessed with THE NUMBER ON THE SCALE.

But through it all, I have not wavered. I didn't storm into the pantry after gaining four pounds and eat whatever I could get my hands on, I went out for a kick ass run. My muscles are sore and I feel good. My shorts are fitting a little better. I had a pair of capris that I had to shimmy into this morning that still looked good by this evening. So with the negatives so far, come the positives.

Next Thursday my husband and I are heading into New York to see JOHN LEGEND at Madison Square Garden!! When I saw he was going to be there I decided I had to see him. I turned my husband into a fan too with his latest album so he agreed to go with me (I would have gone alone). We are going to stay overnight and come home the next morning. I checked out the tickets at Ticket Master but I didn't like the seats that were coming up randomly so my cousin told me to try StubHub. I found two tickets in Section 209, Row A, Seats 1 and 2. AISLE SEATS! Check them out! My husband loves aisle seats so I went for it. I Can't Wait!

Oh I feel so much better now! Really, the thoughts DO roll around in my head!

Nine Months From Now...

2009-07-22T20:20:00.003-04:00

...I will turn 50 years old.

I have decided to use these nine months to work on myself. To focus on what I eat, my workout, how I feel physically and mentally. I'm an analyzer - haha, just noticed the first for letters of that work are "anal" and that is an apt description! I like to put things into black and white, write them down examine the documentation and come up with a conclusion.

I know that along with the physical part of the process, I really have to work on the mental aspect. I'm really, really, hard on myself. Really hard. I've come to realize that for someone who is so positive and everyone's cheerleader, when it comes to me - I'm my own worst enemy. I am so negative and can't even look in a mirror without thinking how ugly I am, or how rotten my hair looks or OMG my thighs are so huge. It's got to stop and I have to learn how to love myself.

I've started working out - slowly working out. Just cardio for now, walking/running or riding my bike in the morning for about 30 minutes. I'm writing down what I eat - going back to basics with three meals, a snack if I'm hungry and plenty of water. I can drive myself insane trying to decide what workout to do or wondering whether I ate enough of this or that that's why I'm sticking to the basics.

I want to start out the next half century of my life in the best physical and mental shape possible.

The Mortgage Industry

2009-07-22T13:40:00.003-04:00

I now know why the mortgage industry is going (or has gone?) to hell in a handbasket.

We used our local TDBanknorth in the past for a mortgage on a commercial building my husband and a partner bought. Of course I handled all the paperwork and the bank couldn't have been nicer. Bent over backwards to accommodate our needs, had the closing in their office, got phone calls on a regular basis from the person at the bank on the status. So we used the same bank, same branch when we applied for a mortgage on the cottage.

Things were a little different. Grace at the bank had moved on and the person there had been transferred from another branch and wasn't thrilled about being there. She sat me down at a desk at the bank, set me up and had me complete the loan application over the phone with the mortgage department. Ok, not the best method but it was done. They asked if I wanted to use the closing attorney selected by the bank and I said "sure!". Didn't know they would select one for me who was 40 minutes away! For a FIVE MINUTE MEETING. Ok, learned my lesson there.

Fast Forward to May 2009. Rates have dropped, cottage has been remodeled, time to get out of our high interest mortgage. On May 14th, I go to the same branch of TDBanknorth again. Kevin, new CSR says he can help me. We complete an online application. I'm asked to provide a closing attorney name. I use the name of a local attorney in town. Finally everything's in the computer we're all set.

May 28th, I get a phone call from the loan processor,Diana, introducing herself telling me there will be a packet in the mail for us. The following week we get the packet, sign the papers, fax them all to her, follow up with an email letting her know they've been sent. And that's when it all started falling apart....

First, I get an automatic email from her telling me she's out of the office on vacation and that Natalie would be covering her work. So I send Natalie an email telling her I've sent it and asked her a few questions. I then get a reply from Natalie telling me Bill is handling our loan while Diana's gone and to send the information to him and she would forward my email. No reply from Bill, no reply from Bill, no reply from Bill. I email Natalie again and tell her I haven't heard from Bill. Bill promptly gives me a call after that! I find out what I need.

One of the items they needed was our ENTIRE tax return from 2008. We're self-employed and it's about 50 pages. My new accountant had my only copy so they made me one and I brought it to the Kevin at the bank and he said he'd fax it. This was on June 10.

I wish I could tell you how much time went by before I heard something. But it looks like it was June 29th when Megan, who was helping the Diana, left a message to give me an update on the remaining outstanding conditions. Come to find out - they were still waiting for the tax return! To make an already long story short, Kevin at the bank was faxing it to the wrong number! Does that mean it never went through? Or some local hardware store in Maine now has a copy of my tax return including my family's social security numbers? I don't know. I don't want to know.

On July 13th I called the loan processor to check the status because -- it was the last day of the locked in rate! She told me they would extend it for us.

The other day she realized she didn't have our homeowner's insurance information. Gave her the agent's phone number so she could get that information.

Today, July 22nd, she calls and asks for - my husband. When I say "this is Nancy" she said "Oh! I've always talked to your husband, but I can talk to you". Uh, ok.

She was calling to see if my closing attorney had completed the title search. First of all, WE OWN THE PROPERTY. WE'RE REFINANCING. Second of all, I gave YOU the attorney information. What did you ask for it for if you weren't going to use it and if I had to have them do something, why didn't you tell me? But I bit my tongue, told her we'd use their attorney as long as they were local to us and of course, this will delay the closing a few more days.

And THAT'S why I'm not surprised that the loan industry is in the condition it's in.

Retail Therapy

2009-07-02T15:00:00.004-04:00

Well! money is tight but that didn't stop me from shopping today and wait til you hear what my out-of-pocket was!

First, I went to a toy store and bought Bananagrams. One of my sisters brought it with her to the lake this weekend and, although I just watched them play it, it looked like alot of fun and something anyone can play. That was $14.99 plus tax.

Then I traveled down the road to Bed Bath and Beyond. On my way there, I drove down the street where we priced a kitchen for some people a few months ago. A kitchen cabinet company brought us in for the carpentry part of it. The man was just ok - sort of devoid of any personality - but the woman was a nutcase. She was a real Jekyl and Hyde. First meeting she was fairly pleasant but the second meeting - oh boy!. Maybe she just had a bad day at work, but I think it was more like a major life crisis and she decided she just didn't care who was in her way. Needless to say, none of us got the job and there was a dirty old panel van in the driveway and a dumpster in the back but no real sign of work going on. But I digress...back to shopping!

Bed Bath and Beyond! I had a $25 gift card from my sister for my birthday. I just wandered the aisles and found a polished silver over-the-door double hook for my bedroom at the cottage. I know my husband will be thrilled (smirk). I'm tired of having to lay my bathroom across the dresser or throw it on the floor. Now I have 2 hooks. Then I found an Olive Oil Mister - one of those fancy silver Misto ones. Then I picked up a garlic holder so my garlic will stay fresh instead of rotting away in a tupperware container in the pantry. I saw birthday cards (those really funny animal ones) so I picked one up for my son because I'm giving him $$ for his birthday to finish off his tattoo. Not my first choice of a gift, but oh well. In addition to the gift card, I had a 20% off any one item which in this case would be the $9.99 mister. The total of my purchases came to 14 CENTS!

With all that retained wealth I made my way over to a place called Bob's Store - or Bob's. It's clothing for everyone. Everyone except me because nothing ever fits, and definitely nothing fits now because I haven't exactly been working out like I should. BUT, they have the best shoes - and shoes always fit! Today they had alot of sales and so I found a pair of Bjorn flat thong sandals of the dressier variety on sale for $19.99. I used a 20% off coupon from the paper AND a $10 off any purchase $10 or more which conveniently CAN be used with other coupons and so I paid $5.99 for the shoes!

The total for ALL my purchases came to under $22. It felt good to buy something and I don't have any buyer's remorse.

Summer Session

2009-06-29T07:56:00.004-04:00

I never thought that 3.5 hours working outside the house would be so exhausting. And that's after having worked fulltime for 20 years! I guess there's a difference though between sitting behind a desk and monitoring five lunch waves in a lunchroom and washing tables after each one!

Today is Day 1 of Summer Vacation. Although I'll continue working in my husband's office, I feel such relief! that I don't have to pack a lunch and run out, work, then come home and try to jump back into what I was doing. The last 2 or 3 weeks have been hell as far as that was concerned. Everyone was suffering believe me!

So, it's 8am, and one this Day 1 I will be making plans and putting them on paper as to what I'd like to accomplish this summer. The #1 goal on my list will be be get myself in shape - mentally and physically. I know when the physical part starts coming along the mental part will follow. Other items on the list will include cleaning the attic, cleaning the basement - both involve serious throwing out of junk, cleaning the house on a regular basis and keeping the weeds out of my very small garden. Things that will be more fun include spending an afternoon once a week with my "little" and finally teaching myself how to play the harmonica with the book and harmonica I begged for many years ago (now I have to find a tape player to play the instructions on!)

I feel like I've been given this gift of time - weird I know - and I want to make sure I enjoy it.

Your Time On Earth Is Over

2009-05-05T19:27:00.003-04:00

I am having a really hard time right now with what I can only describe as Senseless Tragedies.

Three males taken away from us before they even had their lives to live.

Ralph was 22 years old. Grew up in Wallingford. LOVED football. I mean LOVED it. Didn't have the "smarts" but really had heart. Played high school football and helped out on the field for Pop Warner when our son played. Nice kid, family worked the snack shack. He was stabbed in the stomach and heart at the bar where he was a bouncer. There was an argument between he and his attacker and they have surveilance tapes. He'll never play football or help coach again.

Brian was a high school senior. Played basketball for four years at Lyman Hall. His mother graduated from LHHS one year behind me. Thursday night around 10:30pm he and his friends were in a car, probably going to fast down Whirlwind Hill Road - it's name is aptly given - and they hit a tree. Brian was the front passenger. The driver is in fair condition and needs some type of surgery. The backseat passenger is in good condition now. Brian -- not so lucky. Evidently the roof support went into his head. He never came out of his coma. His parents took him off life support Monday afternoon and he passed away. He'll never play basketball, go to his senior prom on the 22nd or graduate from high school on June 25th.

Cole was three years old. He had a twin sister and was the son of a girl I went to high school with. Last July we connected at our class reunion and I sat with her and her husband and my friend Karen at the bar after the reunion. We laughed about her being 48 years old with two year old twins! We had such a good time. Cole drowned in the family pool. I read the article in the paper and couldn't figure out why I just knew I knew the last name. The article wasn't clear whether the parents were home or there was a babysitter there or anymore details just that it was under investigation. My friend Karen, sent out an email to everyone on the class reunion list to let us know that Cole was Diane's son. He'll never have his fourth birthday, start school or play baseball.

My heart ACHES to think of the pain their parents are feeling. The loss of the touch and love of their boys. Do I feel it more keenly because I have a boy? A boy who is 18? Who drives? Who loves football?

Time on earth is short for some, long for others. But we never know how long it will really be. I think it was far to short for these three boys.

Gift Giving

2009-05-03T14:30:00.006-04:00

One of my favorite people, knitting teacher and blogger, Annie Modesitt, posted a reward with a twist on her blog today.

As they say "the early bird catches the worm" and I was one of the lucky five. But now, I need to turn around and do the same. I hesitated before I hit the submit button to my comment because of the challenge involved but I love the Pay It Forward aspect and the opportunity for all of us to share our talents.

Here's the deal:

The first five (5) people to respond to this post will get something made by me.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations so please read carefully:

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make. But no refunds...no exchanges!

2. What I create will be just for you, with love from me. Really, because I love to make things for people but my family can only take so much!

3. It'll be done this calendar year (2009) and when you get it, you have to let me know it arrived.

4. I have no idea what it will be. It could be just about anything because although I'm not Cathy Crafty, I like to try different things.

5. I reserve the right to do something crazy or lovely but it will defintely be something I will be proud of!

6. In return, you must post this text into a note/post of your own and make 5 things for the first 5 to respond to it. I won't check up on you but if I know you all, you're up to the challenge!

Send your mailing address to me at Jaktwin at aol dot com.

Now I know the challenge originated as a knitting challenge and although that's my forte, I know there's other gifts I can give and I hope you will think of the talents you have and the gifts you have to offer. Like I said, I won't check up on you - but how could I not, the readers who read me are the bloggers I read so I guess you're stuck! - but I hope if you want a gift, you'll play along!

A Thicker Skin

2009-04-23T08:41:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I think my husband and I are in the wrong business. Even after 10 years we have a hard time with being rejected for a large project. We always manage to develop a good rapport with our clients and then when it comes down to going with the lower price we take it personally.

We KNOW we shouldn't and sometimes with some potential clients we're thankful they go elsewhere but with others...

On the call we got yesterday, we were 10% higher than the contractor the client selected which based on the job was roughly $15,000. The architect was driving the project and we happened to be a contractor the client called in on a recommendation. We thought that was a really good sign that we'd get the job along with the fact that the client was so disappointed with the architect. The architect mainly does commercial projects so my husband questioned alot of the details on the plans and she ended up having to do alot of corrections. In addition, the architect didn't do measurements before she drew it up and so now that they've picked the contractor, the architect has to redraw the plans to keep a tree in the backyard and not come near the roots and cause it to die!

So on one hand, it IS a disappointment, but looking back, maybe NOT? We always tell each other, it may be a blessing in disguise but in our heads we're saying "we wish we got it"!
Rejection in any form sucks!

MY Day

2009-04-22T10:15:00.003-04:00

Today is my birthday :)

It's not unusual for me, on my birthday, to work it into the conversation of anyone I run into during the day. It's always been a source of excitement for me. Even though I have to share it with my twin! Which sometime sucked, but for the most part was o.k. Maybe BECAUSE I was a twin is the reason it's always been a happy day, because to other people it was such a big deal for there to be TWINS! I never really viewed being a twin as a big deal. There were many times I just wanted her gone from hanging around with me and MY friends!

It's also not unusual for me to look back to see where I've been and where I'm going. I'm not sad or horrified to be 49 years old today. I'm excited and filled with awe that I was BORN 49 years ago. That I've LIVED for 49 years - and boy some of those years I.HAVE.LIVED!

But the last year has been a good year. Some trials and tribulations. Not too much illness. There was a trip to Paris, a high school graduation, a full summer at our cabin, a first year at college, a new parttime job to add a little more income.

I have a husband who I love and who loves me more than when we met 22 years ago. My son has grown to be the (almost) adult I always wished for my child. I'm grateful for all the family and real life friends and internet friends I have come in contact with. Everyone makes me feel like I have something to contribute and something to learn from them.

I'm always excited about what the new day will bring when I wake up in the morning and I look forward to that same feeling for years to come.

So Happy Birthday to me!

Art Imitating Life

2009-03-21T21:47:00.003-04:00

I turned on the television this afternoon and Love Actually was just starting.

Liam Neeson was playing a man who's wife had just died.

I felt very sad....It's my favorite movie but everytime I watch it now I'll think about Liam Neeson losing his wife.

When did it become February 28th??

2009-02-27T21:52:00.004-05:00

I feel like Fred Flintstone in my flintstone mobile trying to slow down with my heels. I wake up and it's Monday and then I wake up the next day and it's Friday...

My father ended up in the hospital last week for a broken toe - the elevator door closed on it as he was trying to get into the elevator in his wheelchair. We think it was the outer part of the door which doesn't have a sensor on it. We (the family) will be checking on that. In the meantime, the main concern of the hospital was his low oxygen levels. Yes, they're low, we (the family) know. No, no matter what you do, send him back with oxygen, he's not going to use it. He's got chronic bronchitis, and congestive heart failure and he's probably going to outlive us all. As he likes to tell the physical therapist "you can't teach an old dog new tricks". What that means in "John terms" is "I don't care WHAT you say, I'm gonna do it my way". To get some strength back (which he didn't have in the first place) he's at a rehabilitation facility for a week or two. At first we were pretty adamant that he only be there for a week at the most. But as we sit back and think about it, it's to his benefit. They're giving him his meds every day (we prepare his pill boxes but he normally takes his own), he's getting physical therapy every day and he's watched over more than in his assisted living facility. They also noted at the hospital that he seems to be sundowning. Whether that is for real or just the effects of his depleted oxygen, I don't know. He'll be 85 this June so we'll see what happens.

Ok, can I say it? The economy SUCKS right now! We are down to our last dime in our business right now. The phones just stopped ringing last fall and so we are affected in this first quarter. We have had calls in the last couple of weeks - I'd say almost one a day - but we really have to price them right to GET the job and make enough money to pay the bills. The biggest suckers of money out of our checking account? INSURANCE. Health insurance, Liability insurance, Workers Compensation insurance, Auto Insurance. It just sucks us dry and pisses me off. I keep telling myself it's a challenge and we're ready for this challenge. We're gonna take it on, and do what we have to do to turn it around for us. Stay tuned! We'll either end up on Easy Street or be out ON the street!

Hope and Optimism

2009-01-17T11:07:00.003-05:00

Three recent events have given me new found hope and optimism for 2009 and the future:

1. I have been trying like a bad dog to lose weight since 12/26. I watch what I eat and track it on SparkPeople, I work out every day varying my workouts - everything I have done every single time I decide it's time to shed those remaining pounds that will lead me to perfection (in my head). This time? - I've lost a lousy 1.8 pounds in three weeks. .2 one week, 1.8 another week and .2 this past week. This is impossible people! This is not normal! Yesterday, I got my answer in the form of a form letter from my endocrinologist. Although my TSH levels are in the "normal" range, they have dropped compared to my two previous blood work results! So they have upped my dosage by 1/2 pill each day. THAT would explain why I don't feel refreshed in the morning when I wake up, or why I keep falling asleep watching TV in recent weeks and why my intestines are so darn sluggish! I'm hoping now that I've increased the dosage I'll see some favorable results. Quick background - I have only half a thyroid because I had a benign tumor on the other half and had it removed about 10 years ago. This is only the second time my dosage has had to be increased.

2. My 18 year old son woke up yesterday and said "I think I broke my big toe because it really hurts". Mind you - he didn't HIT it on anything! Plus he called out from work so it must have really hurt. So, me - instead of saying that's crazy, blah, blah, I called my podiatrist and asked if they could get him in and told him what to do and fill out, etc. because I had to work. He had an ingrown toenail which the doctor cut out for him. Why does that fill me with hope? Because I didn't ignore his complaint and because I didn't have to hold his hand and worry about taking him and I have loved having him home again. Giving me addiional optimism is - he's worked just about every day at his job back at school in the Equipment Department of the Athletic Department. He's been elevated to Head Equipment Guy below the Real Boss and Thursday sat in on his first meeting with the Real Boss, the Football Coach (who told me about the job last year), and the apparel company rep. Pretty good job for someone majoring in Business Management don't you think? In addition to it being a state job so he's working towards his pension already!

3. While working out I listed to Barak Obama's speech at the 9th Street Station in Philadelphia. It appeared ABC was the only network carrying it of the Big 3 and I'm glad I caught it. Talk about Hope and Optimism! I smile like a fool everytime I hear him speak, or see the love and admiration he and Michelle have for each other and they for their daughters. The woman introducing him - you would have thought she was a 10 year old girl who finally met the Jonas Brothers! You could tell she was thrilled. I love what he had to say - talking about the events of 1776 in Philadelphia that have brought us here today and what the future can bring us if we all work together as one nation to become independent again. It was truly powerful and really made my day.

Halfway through January??!!

2009-01-16T21:59:00.002-05:00

Can anyone else believe we're already at JANUARY 15TH?? I swear I wake up, roll over and the next day is already here.

We got through the first week of January only to have our son's car crap out - or more specifically, the calipers on his front brakes froze causing the brakes to remain unknowingly in braking position which wore out the brake pads, rotors and some fried some wires under there too. Then there was the hole in his radiator hose and this and that other thing going on. The car was nine years old with 86,000+ miles and we'd already put over $700 into it right after we got it for - new front brakes and rotors! This, of course, was the car he HAD TO HAVE because he didn't want to wait for my friend the car dealer to find him one at an auto auction. Live and learn....

Needless to say, we were in a dilemma. Although he's only a half hour away living at college, he drives back and forth on weekends and during his winter break he works at school in the Equipment Department. Of course he was taking my car when his was inoperable, leaving me with nothing or having to scrape up a ride.

My husband started looking around for him and found a couple of subarus that he thought would work. Then we started thinking a little harder about the situation. Our vehicle (an SUV) is 7 years old with only 55,000 miles and well taken care of. Why not sell him our car and buy OURSELVES a new one? So that's what we did! He'll make a payment to us each month (we're keeping the SUV in our name) which will help offset the cost of our new car and believe me - everyone is happy!

But it's odd -- when the SUV was MY car, I hated having him drive it. But now that it's his and I have my own, I have no problem with it!

Looking Back...Looking Forward

2009-01-04T20:27:00.003-05:00

Looking back I'd have to say 2008 was a pretty good year.

I went to Paris for a week; our son graduated from high school; we were able to have a nice graduation party for him; I spent a few weekends at our cabin-my husband spent more than a few without me; I got a parttime job so we could have Christmas presents; our business held it's own in the economy; and we were all pretty healthy.

My resolutions for 2009 come from the mistress of advice - Dear Abby. Every one of them starts out JUST FOR TODAY.

The first one for me is the most important: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. This is my biggest problem - first thing in the morning I will think of all the things I have to do during the week and I will immediately begin to freak out. It always ends up being not a big deal and I don't know why I look so far ahead. I was even doing it this week while on vacation for Pete's sake! I need to take life one day at a time and enjoy each day as it happens.

I will be happy.

I will accept what is...I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

I will improve my mind. My Nintendo DS Flash Focus, Left Brain/Right Brain and NYTimes crossword puzzles should help that!

I will make a conscious effort to be aggreeable. Oh more times than I want to admit to, I will make a harsh remark to my husband when it isn't necessary! I'm learning to think before I speak.

I will do something positive to improve my health. I've gone back to SparkPeople to focus on eating healthy and working out and today I bought myself a pedometer and heart monitor watch for my workouts - I'm ready!

I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

I hope 2009 will be a happy and healthy year for all us -- my family, my friends both with me here and all of you out there that I share my thoughts with.

Laundry Wars

2008-12-30T15:32:00.002-05:00

Yesterday my husband was annoyed with me because I hadn't washed any of his "good" jeans. He has three pairs and for the first time in probably six months, he managed to wear all three pairs within one week. You see, I guess I should have been counting and checking his calendar and been prepared for any spur of the moment event he might possibly attend and be sure I had at least one pair washed for him...

This is the same man who will throw a shirt, or a sweatshirt into the laundry basket after wearing it for maybe a half an hour. Who can sometimes change three different times during the day - and everything will end up in the laundry. Who wears the same type of jeans for work.

Yes, yes...I did laundry today and all his jeans are washed. I also plan on heading to Kohl's tomorrow and buying three more pairs of jeans so he will never be without! What a pill!

Thumb Update

2008-12-29T15:50:00.002-05:00

The Thumb will require NO SURGERY! Well, at least that's the current prognosis. X-Rays were taken, it was pressed and twisted and determined there is no ligament tears and so I now have a lovely brace on my hand to wear as long as I can stand it until I go back for another visit in six weeks. I think he also mentioned physical therapy (which hopefully won't be the case). He also gave me a prescription for an anti-inflammatory medication which I'll pick up from the pharmacy tomorrow and probably hand over my first born (Oh, sometimes I'd like to...) to pay for it since I don't have actual prescription coverage only a "discount".

And now, I can't get THIS out of my head:
Thumbelina, Thumbelina tiny little thing
Thumbelina dance, Thumbelina sing...

Thinking about Thumbs

2008-12-27T16:07:00.004-05:00

Have you ever thought about how much you use your thumbs? They are really very handy digits on our hands aren't they?

A month or so ago, I attempted a cartwheel while playing in the schoolyard with my "little". Before you think I'm INSANE, I was a cheerleader so I know HOW to do a cartwheel. I just didn't realize my hands might not respond to trying to hold my body upside down as it rotated end over end. The thumb on my left hand felt a very very sharp pain - but I didn't collapse - which has not gone away.

I thought it was nothing so ignored for a day then went to the school nurse who recommended icing it. Tried it - still hurts. Two weeks ago I went to my doctor who, after flexing my finger all over the place thought we should try 600mg of ibuprofen for 2 weeks 3 times a day with meals and see how it reacted. After the two weeks I called to tell him it wasn't better and so he set up an appointment with an orthopaedic group. I go on Monday for X-rays and she said they would probably fit me with a brace or something then.

Since I am on school vacation I have a little bit of a chance to rest it. Unfortunately - I'm LEFT HANDED! Which gets back to my original question of - Do you realize how much you use your thumbs?? I can barely pull up my underpants! I definitely can't knit and I have to hold my pen between my 2nd and 3rd fingers to write (which stinks because I'm really vain about my handwriting!)

I'm praying whatever is wrong with my thumb can be fixed simply and won't involve surgery. We'll see!

Stuff That Makes Me Smile

2008-12-24T08:01:00.011-05:00

I had a big old entry saved that I wrote Christmas Eve morning. I was in a funk so put on the Christmas tunes (I really MISS them!), got ready for my hair appointment (low lights - they look cool!), and spent the day with my cousin whom I haven't seen in awhile.

I had these pictures already loaded on the page so I thought I'd share them with you all anyway. I've been collected Santas for quite a few years - my husband buys me one almost every year and if I find one I really like I'll pick it up for myself. I started a collection of Nutcrackers for my son because he liked them and I thought it would be something nice for him to have some Christmas decorations of his own.

Doesn't this look like something out of Dr. Seuss?

Some nutcrackers and Santas on my radiator cover

Some more on my mantlepiece

A reindeer my son made in preschool

His angel

My favorite - the Santa he made

My lovely artificial tree - my living room is so long and skinny we have to put it in the corner of the dining room when we have Christmas at your house! Otherwise we put it right in between the two rooms that you can see to the left

I hope everyone had a fabulous Christmas! I did!

Willpower

2008-12-23T08:44:00.003-05:00

My latest Prevention magazine tells me we all have a limited supply of self-control and if we try to exert it in too many areas, we'll deplete our supply rapidly.

Since that's the case, instead of trying to "diet" AND not bite my fingernails, I've decided for these two weeks of the holidays I'm going to concentrate on not biting my fingernails and the skin around them (I know, I know - YUCK) and while not go insane eating, I'll just enjoy myself and the delicious treats around me!

I know it was a touch decision but really the best one for me right now.

Home for the Holidays

2008-12-21T20:54:00.006-05:00

Today was the 2nd annual Family party being held on the Sunday before Christmas. In years past we always got together on Christmas day but that cut out my sister and her family who live in Rhode Island. They would spend Christmas at home; we'd spent Christmas at home (but with the relatives) and we'd all try to catch up later. Last year we decided "aw, let's just do it early!"

My husband and I get all the main foods; my cousin makes up a bigggg dish of Baked Macaroni and Cheese; one sister brings the appetizer, another the desserts and other family members fill in the rest. The table is groaning when everything is out. We had half a baked spiral cut home (12.5 pounds) and 4 pounds of fresh kielbasa along with hard rolls and all the fixings.

We had about 20 people from my mother's side of the family - that side was always the main group for holidays. We had my sisters and their families totalling eight; my first cousin and her mother in law; my second cousin and her boyfriend as well as her father and his girlfriend (his wife, my first cousin passed away about five years ago). Also my father's sister and her daughter, and my son's girlfriend. The only no show because of the weather was my father. At 84, not in the greatest of health (COPD, PAD) and in a wheelchair, he's uncomfortable coming out in bad weather because he doesn't like to stay anywhere long and he knows he'll be taking us away from the festivities. I knew he would change his mind and want to stay home but we'll see him during the week.

The weather was snowy and at times freezing rain but everyone made it safely and had a good time eating and opening presents. Although we kicked around not buying each other gifts and making donations instead, we all had a little something for each other. My feeling is this -- I like buying a little token of my affection for my family members. It's never anything extravagant, just something I might have made or something that made me think of them when I saw it. I'm fortunate to be able to also made a annual donation to my local charity and will always do that whether I'm buying family gifts or not.

My sisters and their families were the last to leave around 6:45 and I had my kitchen clean and the dishwasher running by 8pm. Not bad!

I hope everyone has a festive, joyous visit with their families this week too!

IT'S SANNNTTTTAAAAAA!

2008-12-20T12:13:00.004-05:00

Santa in the window has been making an appearance in our neighborhood for the 47 years I've been living in the neighborhood.

There are two ways to get to the main street from our house. Go all the way down Grandview Avenue (really, it has a "grand" view!), turn left on Cedar and right on South Main. Or, you can take a quick left off Grandview onto Hillsview (it's a Hill! with a View!), go down the hill and you're at South Main.

My father always took the Hillsview route when taking us to church on Sunday and we would always look with anticipation after Thanksgiving to see if Santa had made his appearance yet. If he was there we'd all scream "Santa Santa!" and frantically wave. There is something so cheery and appealing about him. At night there is a spotlight on him so everyone can see him.

These days the Hillsview route is the only one I take because there are too many cars lining the somewhat narrow Grandview and kids like to play in the street and I figure "eh, let them play undisturbed by me". So all my trips take me by Santa to which I always give a cheery little wave back. Isn't he cute?!

Rockin' around the Christmas Tree

2008-12-13T10:35:00.004-05:00

There is a local radio station (STAR 99.9!) that plays 24/7 of Holiday music from Thanksgiving through Christmas.

There's something about Christmas songs - old and new - that just brings out the bigger crazy person in me than normally exists. I sing and dance and glide as if I were ice skating - much to the laughter of the other ladies in the lunchroom.

We have the radio tuned in to the station in the back room but if I'm working the check in area I can hear it. Everytime a new song starts I either start waving my arms or throw in some Rockette kicks. I can't help it! If it's a song we'd sing in church or slower one, I sing along reverently.

My particular favorite is "Winter Wonderland" because I like to throw in a little bit of echo to the phrases like "Sleigh bells" ("oh they're ringin'!).

I think it's just a throw back to when I was little we always had a Christmas show in school so we'd act out all the songs (Bring a Torch Jeannette Isabella was one I remember dressing up to) and my father would bring home "Firestone Presents" christmas albums every year with songs by Andy Williams (sigh!) and Johnny Mathis to name a few.

What's YOUR favorite Christmas song and why?

Lighten Up Media!

2008-12-12T08:00:00.004-05:00

My husband was unusually quiet this morning. When I asked him why - so OK, it was 5:45AM - he said he was always quiet. Somewhat true so, whatever.

However, later on he did admit that he thinks he's a little depressed. He's depressed by the negativity displayed by the news media about everything. There's never any GOOD, it's always bad, bad, bad. And since he's a self-employed contractor it causes him to worry because if he's listening to it, so are his potential clients!

And they talk it to DEATH; they just beat it into the ground. Whether it's the economy or the state of the planet (PLANET IN PERIL in 3 hours on CNN), or SPORTS! Aren't SPORTS supposed to take us away, give us a little break from everything bad around us? No! We have to listen to the announcers on ESPN analyze every sideways glance given by T.O. to Tony Romo this week. Are Romo and Widden plotting against T.O.?

I had to remind him that even though we had a rough start this year and some dips during the year, we're coming out of it OK and if we survived this year then I'm never going to complain in the years ahead. WE did what we had to do to make this year as successful as the past years and if we keep a healthy attitude and NOT focus on the negativity we will continue to be successful.

If only the media would have the same attitude we all might be OK.

Road Trip

2008-11-18T19:11:00.003-05:00

WooHoo! My husband and I are taking a road trip (ok, train trip) to the always fabulous New York City on Saturday! We planned it early for the holidays because we're freakishly busy the weekends between Thanksgiving and Christmas and we wanted to be sure we went in good weather.

I am taking him to the Holiday Shops at Bryant Park and the Grand Central Terminal Holiday Fair. I've been to both the last few years but he's never been and I know he will love them (he's a crafty kind of guy). Plus he hasn't been to New York since January of 2007!! which is a major crime because he loves the city as much as I do.

We're going to take the 8:32am train out of New Haven and get into GCT around 10am. We've have to decide when and where we're going to eat because there's a fabulous Panini stand in Grand Central, there's a fabulous Deli type place up by 48th that also has paninis AND we have a cuban restaurant we like and another we've been told to try out. I expect we will eat somewhere when we get in, shop and then hit a cuban restaurant for a mojito in the afternoon!

We've been watching the weather, they've removed a potential storm from the map for Saturday and it looks like it will be in the low 40s. We'll bundle up and carry Ameribags that will be comfortable even laden down with purchases! Can't Wait!

What's YOUR Sign?

2008-11-18T18:48:00.005-05:00

There are a few things that I'm pretty passionate about and oddly enough they all deal with who we are and what makes us "us". The first fascination I have is with Astrology.

I don't know when it started -- it could be the diary my sister gave me when I was ten that listed all the astrological signs and information about each sign and what signs they were compatable with. My birthday is April 22 which means I'm a Taurus but I'm on the cusp of Aries. I always found that interesting because the signs are really kind of opposites. Taurus people are tenacious, rooted, sensuous, persistent, deliberate, patient, loyal while those born under the sign of Aries are courageous, pioneering, brilliant, adventurous, dynamic, straight-foward. I figured if nothing else it would explain why I was a homebody some days and a total party animal the other days! I think my good qualities served me well working in customer service trying to find answers for people that called into the insurance offices I worked for.

But those characteristics are the bright spots of a Taurian. The negatives are: brooding, possessive, stubborn, inflexible, enraged, slothful, indulgent, slow and oh they so truly apply to me! My husband would attest to all of them with his hand on a bible and I would back him up 100%! Growing up I didn't really like to admit to any of those characteristics (especially Slothful?!), but as I've gotten older I've kind of embraced who I am and my strengths and weaknesses.

I found this site at About.com that tells you about each sign. Tell me if your sign really does sound like you!

All My Children

2008-11-17T19:44:00.002-05:00

It's been over two months since I started my job as Lunch Aide at an elementary school and I have to say - I LOVE IT!

There is something so refreshing about spending 3 1/2 hours with kids between the ages of 6 and 10 or so. Some days are rough (full moon anyone?) but for the most part, I enjoy seeing them every day, saying hello, talking to them and getting to know them.

I get hugs while they're standing in line and smiles and hellos when I'm walking down the hall before I start work. I've cleaned up a 4th grader who threw up - right after finishing his lunch and I've had to comfort two 5th grade BOYS who were in tears for one reason or another.

My least favorite at the beginning were the 1st graders because they were so darn needy! But now I've learned to enjoy my time with them as much as the older kids.

I spend half the week herding them all through the line to punch their number into the keypad and checking the hot lunch list to make sure they're signed up. The other part of the week I monitor the lunchroom and give the Five Minutes Left For Lunch lights out signal and then the Lights Are Out Lunch Is Over and clear each class from their tables. I try to be cheery about it -- until I have to really get loud because they're not listening or quieting down.

Sure, I have my favorites and there's probably only a few out of all the kids in grades 1-5 that I could do without. But I give them all the same big smile when I see them because they're kids and they give me the chance to escape out of my world and into theirs for a few hours a day.

To Brighten A Dreary Saturday

2008-11-15T13:47:00.006-05:00

Today is a rainy, slightly chilly Saturday in Connecticut. I'm spending the afternoon listening to the Southern Connecticut football playoff game in Pennsylvania on my computer (my son's a manager). They're getting clobbered by the way...42-18 in the 3rd quarter. I thought I would clean today but nixed that idea after sleeping in until 7:15(!).

To compensate for the dreariness, I'm making Shrimp Ceviche as an appetizer for my husband and I. We had it at Soul de Cuba a few weeks ago and just fell in love with it. I found a recipe at All Recipes that I'm going to modify to be more like the one we had. I bought some flour tortillas to bake into tortilla chips to serve with it. I'm also making Mojitos! Another All Recipes recipe - hopefully it will tast somewhat similar to the ones we like. Finally for dinner we're going to have roast beef and roasted red peppers on rolls au jus. I'll have to make sure I have everything for that out when I start on my Mojito because when I have a drink usually I end up too lazy to make dinner.

I'm lucky my husband is always a willing participant for eating and drinking!

Thursday Takeout - with a Twist!

2008-11-13T16:59:00.003-05:00

At the beginning of the year when money started getting tight, I began "Thursday Takeout" in our house. Since I grocery shop of Fridays, I figured Thursday was the perfect night to have takeout -- and it would (hopefully) eliminate the "oh I can't think of anything for dinner let's have pizza" syndrome because I'd focus better on the meals I wanted to cook the rest of the week. Surprisingly, it's worked really well.

Now that our son is in college, and we go out so infrequently I think people think we're hermits, I decided that once a month we would GO OUT ON THURSDAY! I know! it's crazy but we now actually leave our house when it's kind of dark maybe once a month!

Last month we went to a cuban restaurant Soul de Cuba, in New Haven that I've been dying for us to try because we love Mojitos! They were awesome, the food was DEVINE - shrimp ceviche appetizer and I had some sort of ground beef mixture wrapped in fried plantains yummmm....

Tonight we are taking advantage of the first ever "New Haven Restaurant Week" where about 16 restaurants are offering $29.00 prix fixe meals. We are heading to Bentara Restaurant which is billed as Connecticut's first authentic Malaysian and Fusion restaurant. I can't wait!

HIPPA Part 2 and how it pays to be persistent

2008-11-12T09:51:00.003-05:00

So my saga with the dental insurance carrier and my husband's claim did not end with me faxing a letter signed by my husband to the carrier giving me permission to discuss his claims; no, no.

I received a letter in the mail last week telling me they were not able to approve the request "as the form was not completed properly". Form? what Form? I ain't got no stinkin' form! They kindly sent me THEIR form for him to sign and send back. I love the section for "expiration" as in how long does he want this permission to go on. This time I said "until we cancel our plan". I did not send it back to the customer service rep. listed in the letter. I FAXED it back to the person I faxed the letter to originally.

In the meantime, the lab who examined the biopsy of cells sent to them from the dentist, resubmitted the claim. The original claim was denied because they used an "unspecified procedure code". The lab claims they didn't - maybe they just used one not recognized by the carrier? I don't know. So, I received another benefits statement from the carrier for the resubmitted claim. THIS TIME the carrier denied it because they said "no record of biopsy or excision within 30 days of evaluation." To which I said Bullshit! I pulled out my Medical Receipts 2008 file (you all'd better have one too) and found the dental visit to coincide with the biopsy. 6/25/08 - brush biopsy paid at 50% for major coverage.

Sooooooo, I called the carrier again today, talked to the same rep. as the last few times (thank God because I hate having to explain over and over to someone new), he checked for the authorization, it was there. Then back to the claim. I gave him the date of the dental visit and after consulting with his supervisor as to whether a brush biopsy would be considered a "biopsy", he said the claim would be reprocessed and paid. Now I have to make sure the lab sends me my money back and I will have the benefits statement so I'll know when they're paid.

If I did not have the insurance background I have, I would be out $95.00. If I didn't have a fax machine at my disposal, this would have taken forever. I'm happy I was able to set things straight but I don't like the feeling that other people would give up and pay bills they shouldn't have to because they can't or don't know how to get the information they need to correct it. The customer service rep. thanked me for my persistence and I thanked him for his patience.

Sunday Dinner

2008-11-02T19:32:00.007-05:00

In Paris, while I was busy stuffing my pie hole with as much goat cheese on toast with a side salad as I could find, my niece Julie had a truly delicious looking dish one day for lunch called Croque Madame.

She made it look so delicious, I wrote down the ingredients in my journal so I could make it when I got home.

It's been five months since we were there(!), and I finally went to the internet to find a recipe for it. There were quite a few on The Food Network Website so tonight my husband and I had Rachel Ray's recipe for Croque Madame. It had a great sauce of butter, flour, milk, dijon mustard, salt, pepper and nutmeg, eggs (I like mine nice and runny), deli ham (we used virgina ham), swiss cheese and we had some left over foccacia rolls that I sliced the crust of the roll off and then cut the rolls in half so we each had TWO!

The recipe was easy (just what I like), fairly inexpensive and the best part was my husband helped with the preparation!

Bon Appetit!

I HATE HIPPA

2008-10-31T10:00:00.003-04:00

This morning is the second time I've run up against HIPPA - Health Insurance Portability and Protection Act of 1996. Both times when I'm trying to unravel a denied claim for my husband.

There should be a form that is automatically generated by insurance companies and noted in an individual's file that says one can confer with the carrier about their spouse. It shouldn't have to be set up by the member and spouse when they've reached the end of their rope when trying to communicate with the carrier.

We ran into this with husband's medical insurance and finally submitted a letter stating I could discuss his records. Before that, he happened to be sitting across from me one day when they asked if he could speak to him directly. I handed the phone to him, he said "what" a few times and then said "talk to my wife, she handles everything".

Now I'm trying to get a dental claim paid that was denied by the insurance company saying it was an unspecified procedure even though the lab has clearly identified what the procedure was and denies it ever sent it in with the "unspecified" procedure code. My response to the (poor unsuspecting) customer service rep was "I HATE HIPPA".

The biggest joke was when I was trying to get a replacement wheelchair for my father. Medicare wouldn't speak to me about what he had and what his coverage would be so I had to go through the steps and submit the forms he signed. BUT when I was working with The Wheelchair Store to get him a motorized chair THEY called Medicare and got all the information they needed!

I DO understand in some situations the HIPPA ACT is a good thing but honestly I think for 99.9% of the time it's overkill.

Musings...

2008-10-29T09:21:00.004-04:00

**Should America REALLY CARE that "Joe the Plumber" has publicly endorsed John McCain? He certainly doesn't represent my husband and I even though we're in "the trades". After all, we HAVE a license to do our work, we PAY our taxes, we would KNOW the media will take whatever you have to say and run with it...No, he definitely doesn't represent us.

**Hey Television Without Pity -- there's more than one way to skin a cat. That's all I'm sayin' 'bout that.

**I really have to get over my poor body image and just eat right and exercise.

**We've had $6,600 worth of unanticipated auto repairs for three vehicles this year (are they ever actually anticipated?), with another $1,600+ to shell out for the head gasket on our son's car. I knock on wood every morning that my car has evaded problems. BUT, they are all over 5 years old and PAID FOR.

**I DON'T have a snotty attitude (or Schnotty as we were saying on Saturday) -- I just have a definite opinion on things.

**I don't think there's any doubt I'm voting for Obama and I think with the support of Joe Biden he will adjust very well. After all, isn't that why Bush selected Cheney? People seem to forget that and if McCain had stood up for what HE thought was right, he would have selected a running mate that would have been equal or slightly below his stature. But noooo.......

**New Jersey got NINE inches of snow yesterday. Better them than me.

**It's 9:30am and I haven't done a lick of work. Must.get.to.it!

BANNED!

2008-10-24T19:51:00.003-04:00

Get this -- I've been banned from posting on the forums of a website for:
"Banned for demonstrated inability to curb snottiness and ignoring previous warnings".

Never mind I've been a member since 2003, have written 591 posts and previous warnings are one from April 2006 because I was being sincerely sarcastic; October 2006 when I was told to stay on topic in a thread I don't even remember - Laura? who's Laura?; and December 2007 when someone was harassing me on an Amazing Race board.

This supposed offense was my declaration in the Two and a Half Men thread stating I could suspend reality for 30 minutes while watching a situation comedy -- well, I said this:
"I guess I am capable of suspending reality for 30 minutes during a television situation comedy and just laugh at what is presented. I thought it was funny, my husband thought it was funny. We don't sit and try to figure out how a television character can do this when you know IRL she should/would/could do this. The suspension of reality in 2 and a Half Men is no different that the suspension of reality in I Love Lucy and I always thought that show was hysterical too." As God is my witness, I actually said that in all serious innocence - no snark or sarcasm or snottiness was flowing through my fingertips at any time I was typing!

The irony of this? The forums are on the website Televison Without Pity!!

Big Sister/Little Brother

2008-10-09T19:59:00.004-04:00

Last year after reading a fabulous article in the newspaper, I decided to become a Big Sister in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program. In September of 2007 I was teamed up with a first grade boy. He was pretty young for first grade - he wouldn't turn 6 until December 26th - and very rambunctious. He was a transitional first grader meaning they already knew he would repeat first grade again. He lives with his grandmother because both parents are incarcerated. He has no contact with his father but he travels to the correctional facility to visit his mother periodically.

Last year we played alot either outside on the playscape (it helps to be small enough to fit on an elementary school playscape!) or inside with a huuuggeee box of donated Legos and other games. We had alot of fun and of course I promised to continue to meet with him this year.

Well, this year is here, my "little" is again in first grade and I -- am working in the school cafeteria as a lunch room aide (more on that in a later post). So not only do I see him once a week for an hour but I see him every day at lunch as an authority figure so I'm seeing a whole new larger picture of this child.

That has NOT changed my opinion of being his Big, or lessened my feelings for him. But it does make me want to help make him more in control of himself, more aware of his actions, more able to "be good"!, and I don't know how. We talk about behavior, right and wrong, what's best for him...but I don't know if it's sticking. I want to talk to the teacher and the aide (whom I know from previously working at the school) to see if I can come up with something I can do to help them rein him in. But I don't want to step on anyone's toes, or have them think I can accomplish something they can't. Nor do I want to be too hard on him, but I've always been used to my son who did as I asked and always did well and minded himself in school.

My biggest wish for him is to realize how much more comes his way when he is good, and respectful and can control himself and not be disruptive to his class and teachers. Maybe once he sees that for himself, he will be able to make a habit out of it. Because let's face it, with him parental background, and his environment he's already starting about 100 yards behind the start line. I want him to be able to be more than anyone ever expected of him. Ok, so maybe I'm thinking BIG for him but if people who are around him daily don't, who will?

State of the Funds

2008-10-07T10:15:00.002-04:00

I have lost close to $1,000 in my son's 529 college fund since JULY 1st!

I just took out the last of it today to stop the bleeding and to have it available when the Spring 2009 bill comes due. I already stopped contributions to a Roth IRA I'm using for college also. Last month I put in $200 and have $96 to show for it. I told my advisor, since I'm planning to use that money in the coming year, I'd be better off putting the $200 a month under my mattress! I have to say (now), I'm happy my son's college charges for one semester at a time.

Considering how I'm feeling about the state of his college fund I can only imagine the gnashing of teeth and wailing that's going on in households that plan to use the money in the Fall of 2009 and wondering what's going to be left, if anything, by then.

He misses his brother

2008-10-06T16:52:00.002-04:00

After our son left for college, the cat would never go in his room. This weekend Cody was home for the whole weekend and Chuckie couldn't get enough of him. I went upstairs today after I worked out to find him there, on Cody's old baby blanket (which they used to share).

The cat represents what we all feel like for the first few days after Cody leaves.

Dilemma

2008-10-01T08:10:00.004-04:00

I feel very badly because my husband wants to go to our cabin this weekend. But I told him weeks ago that because our son had no football game to work at this weekend, I knew he would be coming home. Somehow that fell on deaf ears.

Two weekends ago when the weather was beautiful HE decided he didn't want to go up there. He's not the type (like me) that is able to lay around and read and he doesn't knit so he gets bored. And, right now there's no television so he can't lay on the couch and watch tv until we decide to do something. Actually we could go up any weekend we wanted, because we OWN it, but I'm the bad guy.

To make matters worse, when our son called the other day to say he was coming home, my husband told him we would be home Friday night but would be gone Saturday night. So by the time I told my son we would be home, he had probably already alerted the troops that his house was available!

His text message made it sound like he thought we'd only be gone for the night but we'd be gone SaturDAY through SunDAY and honestly I love my son more than the cabin!In addition, our favorite Celebrate Wallingford will be going on this weekend in the center of town with food, music, crafts and my husband and I always enjoy going. To top it off, the high school football game is Friday night.

I think there's enough to keep us home than to go away and hang out don't you think?

The Bailout and Politics

2008-09-30T09:51:00.004-04:00

I for one am glad the proposed bailout didn't pass. Oh, I think one WILL, I think we (I like to think our politicians still vote with "us" in mind) just had to give a little F*&%# You to Bush right now. Reading about his address in the paper the day after it occured gave me Deja Vu - he gave the same "if we don't do something right now....speech for the war in Iraq, for the mess up in New Orleans and something else I can't quite remember - and I didn't like that you'll be sorry sort of message he was sending.

I read the newspaper every day and try not to skip anything but I also get my news in bits and pieces on the AOL cover page. I read the article about the Bailout talks, speeches and vote as well as some of the comments from readers that followed and don't understand this...Do people REALLY believe that legislators changed their votes last minute because they didn't like Nancy Pelosi's partisan speech? I didn't hear it, I'm just repeating a comment or two. From what I read, 3 out of 5 democrats and 1 out of 3 republicans voted for the bailout. 4 out of 5 congressmen in my state voted FOR the bailout...hmmm! Obviously there was something in there that some lawmakers didn't like.

I'm still undecided if we should bail out Wall Street because where will it end? What will we do if it happens again 10 or 20 years from now? For the time being I'm stopping the automatic draw into my Roth Ira that is supposed to pay for our son's college education (put $200 in and have $96 to show for it right now is a little too much to take) and putting the money under my mattress.

Only time will tell...

Why the rich get richer

2008-09-26T07:44:00.004-04:00

My husband's uncle is richer than Croesus. He lives in California and is at least a millionaire from a successful new home/remodel building company and now at the same time, manages the building operations of some computer company in the Bay area and he spends ALOT of time flying back and forth to Singapore to name one city.

He and my husband are like brothers with an age gap of 17 years because uncle lived with husband's family as he grew up. Husband calls uncle to consult with building issues and normally they try to talk once a week.

This week uncle invited husband to go with him on his next trip to Singapore in November. Not surprisingly, since I went to Paris in May, I thought maybe we could swing it for him.

When I came home yesterday, I saw some numbers written on the telephone pad and asked husband what they were. He said "Oh, that's the cost of the hotel per night in Singapore". I nearly fell over. Here uncle is inviting husband to travel with him - while uncle is on company business and so undoubtedly HIS hotel room is paid for - but he wants my husband to pay for his own room. Later, I went online to check out airfares and they start at around $950 but the clincher was the flights are 24 HOURS long! That was the nail in the coffin for my husband.

Now, I'm not one to begrudge anyone anything they have earned by their hard work and intelligence but there have been a number of things uncle has done over the years to make me feel this way about him and his money. Maybe it's his nature and he's frugal and he wants to hang onto his money but since I'm the same way it's probably why we clash. So, I don't think husband will be heading off to Singapore anytime soon.

Did you know...

2008-09-23T21:54:00.003-04:00

....I met my husband in the Montego Bay Airport in Jamaica? Oh yes I DID! I spotted him before he spotted me. I saw him greeting his friends who were actually on my flight from New York. Then I met him about five minutes later at the back of the beer truck (my friend met him first). She and I got on the same bus to the resort that he and his friends did. The rest as they say -- IS HISTORY!

My deceased mother set us up...Seriously. She had passed away about a month before my trip. I postponed it when she was sick. My (future) husband was a LAST MINUTE addition to his friends' trip which is why he was meeting them at the airport. See? We both weren't supposed to be there at that time - May 2, 1987 - but we were!

I have our entire courtship on film. I even have a picture of him from my 2nd story window walking up the path to come and get me for breakfast the first morning we were there. We hung out with a group of people including his friends and mine and about six others thrown in. Eating, drinking, dancing, sunning and just having a fabulous 20-something time.

I never had a doubt in my mind that we wouldn't be together forever. How bizarre is that? This guy from California - this girl from Connecticut. No doubt. And it came true. Five months later - after he visited me and we decided "yeah, this'll work"; and I visited him and we got engaged - I moved to California. Even then, I never looked back, never questioned my decision, never regretted leaving home. Because I was home.

I look back over the 21 years and though there are times I wanted to strangle him (and him me), he has been, is and always will be my greatest love and my best friend in the whole world. There is no one I enjoy being with more than him. Richer, poorer, sickness, health - we've had it all and I'd do it all again.

Is it wrong?

2008-09-19T07:44:00.005-04:00

Is it wrong to enjoy just being home or is it a sign of something else?

My husband and I enjoy being home. Staying home, puttering around, watching tv, me knitting or reading, him napping.

We have opportunities to do things -- we could call friends to go to dinner, or I could call friends to go the movies during the week -- but we don't. We come home from work, have dinner, sit watch tv, he goes to bed around 8, I putz and then go up around 9:30 or 10 (he gets up at 4:30; me 5:30). Weekends usually involve taking care of the house, groceries and sitting on the deck reading or watching football and just generally relaxing.

This weekend we have a college football game to go to at 8pm and we were going to go to the cabin after and spend the weekend til Sunday morning. But now we've decided because he's golfing at 9:30 on Sunday that maybe we won't go because there's airconditioners to take out and this to do and that to do. And that's ok with me because now I don't have to pack and bring my stuff to the game with me so that we can head right to the cabin.

I'm waiting now for him to decide maybe not to go to the game because it IS such a late start. And I'd probably be fine with that because then we can walk down the hill and go to the high school game instead.

Maybe that's another thing I question about ourselves too -- we're always changing our minds. Is that healthy? Should you make a decision and stick with it regardless of whether you REALLY want to do it or now? Or is that the great thing about Free Will?

Grief

2008-09-11T21:45:00.003-04:00

My mother's been dead 21 years and I always wonder why I can't talk about her without starting to cry. It just seems so strange to me. But I think I discovered why while watching the Special Features section of "Six Feet Under". Alan Bell, the creator of the show said his sister died in a car accident when he was 13 years old. He and his family were so unable to deal with the situation that any sign of emotion was avoided. So 20 years later the grief came up -- because he hadn't grieved 20 years ago. And it was like a light bulb went off over my head.

To keep it brief, my mother was diagnosed with a gleobastoma multiform brain tumor in January 31 1987 at the age of 64. Where there signs? Yes, but nothing very obvious before the previous month. She was always a little dizzy, but I digress. At that point -- because she obviously ignored symptoms and because her doctor was an asshole -- the tumor had invaded her brain so extensively there was nothing they could do. They gave her 4 to 6 months to live.

Since this was the very early days of Hospice, we brought her home. My father and I -- both of us whom had fulltime jobs. We got a hospital bed and put it in our dining room. My Aunt Tootsie, my mother's oldest sister, age 77 and my Auntie Edna (my father's brother's widow) who was closer to my mother's age, came over every day and stayed with my mother, cleaned the house, and got dinner ready until my father or I got home. My father and I would eat, I would go work out (I went from 113 to 95 pounds by the time she died), come home and then my father would go out. I slept on the couch in the next room everynight. And we both went to work every day. Well, I missed one day of work because I drank too much at the St. Patrick's Day parade one Sunday and was too hungover. Well, and I did drink to excess every weekend, but that was only because my sister's would usually take over on the weekend. Again, I digress...

I helped her to the bathroom and when she couldn't walk anymore, we shifted her onto the commode and when that was impossible we changed diapers. Every first was a nightmare but then it became natural. We had a visiting nurse come in twice a week to check on her. Although my mother couldn't talk anymore, she knew the nurse was pregnant -- and she was only about 6 weeks along! Everything went quickly, her ability to walk, talk -- it was shocking.

Well, she didn't live 4 to 6 months, she lived 8 weeks. She passed away April 4, 1987, the day before her 65th birthday.

And for as outspoken, boisterous, outgoing we three are, we and our father were incapable of grieving together. Some would say that we grieved over the 8 weeks she was home, that by the time she died it was a relief. Well, it was in a sense because it was hard to see her just lying there but at the same time, it was like emotions were shut off. I think I told her how I felt about her but I remember being uncomfortable doing that thinking "well, now it makes it look like I didn't do it when she was well". How dumb is that?

And then after she died, life just went on. Work continued, my social life continued, I planned on moving out before she got sick and so I did. And it's not exactly a great conversation starter so you really can't just bring it up. And I don't think people, even friends, are really comfortable with someone else's grief. So I just shut it off. But it bubbles up at the strangest times.

Lunch Lady

2008-09-10T20:26:00.003-04:00

I decided over the summer that it was time to get out of the house for a little while each day - and maybe make a little money in the process. So I went down to the elementary school where I had been a library aide for five years to see if they had anything available. They had a Lunch Aide position open!

Now, in the five years I'd been in the school, I NEVER paid ANY attention to the cafeteria. ANY. I can sincerely tell you, the people in there do NOT make enough money!

We have five lunch waves -- one for each grade (thank God). They have their recess first and then come in to the cafeteria. There are two lunch aides, one cashier and one food server. The other lunch aide (who's been there for 10 years) and I share the same duties of checking kids through the line to make sure they get the lunch they signed up for, keep track of who "charges" when they don't have any money in their account, set up the fork/spoon/napkin/straw table, keep the peace and clean the tables after each wave.

In addition to the cafeteria, we're also in charge of filling supply requisition orders from the rest of the school. Those are stored in the basement and we fill little red wagons and wheel them outside up the ramp and back into the school to distribute them. Evidently, we now have to help the custodian deliver the "Science Kits" that come in about every month for all the grades. Big tupperware boxes that have to be delivered with the handcart.

I'm not sure WHY I continue to do my 45 minute workout every morning because I spend from 10:30am until 2:15pm on my feet. I repeat, on my feet. Keep in mind, I have moved at my own speed for the last four years, and pretty much sat on my ass that time too. I had to run up to my father's afterwards today and I sat on a bench to visit and my butt sighed. I heard it! It said "aaaahhhhhhh".

The kids only add to the tiredness. Honestly, the first and second graders are worse than the upper grades with regards to listening - to paying attention - to obeying! They look you right in the face and continue to do what you asked them to stop. I'm still trying to get a grip on the best way to handle them and I'll be darned if I can get any ONE of the classes to listen in order to get them out of the cafeteria in an orderly manner. I WILL get it right!

One or two days into the job I already had my favorites in each grade and knew which ones to keep a close eye on. Farther into it now I can sense some of them actually like me and have started talking to me or just responding favorably when I ask them to follow direction.

And Yippie! I got my first paycheck today! It was only for three days and although it proves I won't be making tons of money, I'm going to cash the checks, and save the money so we will at least be able to have a Christmas this year. Because that's how bad the year is turning out in terms of having any "extra" money. It's just not there.

So it's all good. I learn how to prioritize my time, I get out of the house for a few hours a day and get to talk to people while making money and I feel like I'm making a contribution again.

I LOVE Television

2008-09-09T21:41:00.002-04:00

My niece loves to tell the story of how I ended an explanation of some television show (probably a reality one) with the exclamation of "I LOVE television!". It's no secret - I DO.

From the number of shows I watch or talk about, it would probably appear to most people that I watch alot of television. And maybe to their standards, I do. In my defense, I need to say I knit at the same time, sometimes read magazines at the same time and occasionally a book or two. My husband and I also watch alot of travel, food and history programs, so it's not all sitcoms! Also in my defense I have to say -- my husband goes to bed at 8PM! and I don't like to retire until 10pm; I don't go out in the evenings and so it's my relaxation.

The part of television I really enjoy though is the ideas behind the shows -- the creators, the writers, the set designers, the wardrobe and makeup, the actors and OMG - the directors! How are these people so CREATIVE!?!

I just finished watching the "Six Feet Under" series -- five season at least 13 episodes apiece. I borrowed some DVDs from the library, season 4 I rented from Hollywood Video. That was ALOT of viewing hours! To watch the five years so close together and watch the arc of the characters, how they grew, matured, changed appearance in those years was amazing. But even more amazing is watching where the writers took them -- how do they keep them evolving without coming to a point and say "uht oh - we shouldn't have had them do that in season 1 now it totally screws us for season 3-5". I'm astounded by the imagination and creativity and eye to do something so amazing.

THAT is why I LOVE TELEVISION!

College Boy

2008-09-06T20:56:00.002-04:00

My son has been gone for about 2 weeks now. I miss him because I miss talking with him. I'm a questioner. I ask people millions of questions to the point of exhaustion sometimes (usually the questionee's!). I miss talking to him in the morning and after football or track and when he comes home at the end of the night.

In addition to being my son, he's been my friend and companion ever since he was little. He was always willing to be dragged along somewhere whether it was with just me or with my sister and her daughters. He is a great traveling companion.

Ever since he's been gone we've been text messaging each other. The first night he was gone, he was at work and we were "talking". Whether it was because of the late hour and still being at work, or maybe it was because he really missed us, he was very loving in his words and that really touched me. Now that he's gone I try to let him initiate the messaging, but I know if I need to reach him, I only have to send a message and he'll respond.

He stopped by last Sunday on his way to the mall and came to our family picnic on Monday -- which is something he has always tried to get out of! He's coming home tomorrow to drop off his car and of course, wash his clothes. I plan to bake a whole chicken with small red potatoes and carrots which I know is his favorite meal.

I think he's stressed out right now between classes and working as the football equipment manager and finding time to fit his social life in as well. I know he's tired -- the football team left at 6:30am this morning and part of the game was played in the torrential rains. He just broke up with his girlfriend the other day (she's a senior in h.s.) because he feels like he doesn't have enough time to devote to the relationship right now and I know that's weighing on him too. He called me to talk about that and then to tell me they had broken up. We both understood what each other had to say, because I was in the same situation when I went to college.

I can only pray for him and offer my ear and my heart when he needs it. But yeah, I miss him.

His Last Weekend

2008-08-27T21:44:00.009-04:00

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Our son spent his last weekend at home with us at our cabin. My husband said it was the most relaxed he's seen me up there all summer. Probably because my mind wasn't back home wondering if there was a party going on at our house and if I would see my dining room as the background in anyone's Facebook pictures!

It reminded me of our camping weekends where the two of them would go out fishing and I would stay behind and read or knit. They went out about four times, mostly because the fish weren't biting.

He took a nice long nap in the afternoon (he'd gone to a concert the night before) and slept in "his room" for the first time. We had a pretty simple dinner and then all climbed into the twin beds in his room to watch a movie. On Sunday morning while they fished I went out in my kayak and took some pictures of the lake and them and in the afternoon a friend of his from town who's family has a house there called him up to go out on their boat.

It made me happy for the chance to spend time with him before he leaves (he moved in today), and sad that it was over already. If it was my birthday I would say that was the best gift I ever received.

YEEEOOUUCCCHHHHH

2008-08-27T20:07:00.003-04:00

My head is still smarting from when it connected with this beam in my office. I was pretty much moving at full speed to my desk for a paperclip and BBOOOOMMMM - I hit it. It dropped me to my knees and DENTED my forehead right at my hairline. I was so shocked I didn't even swear. I now have two lovely wounds, an egg on my forehead and a HEADACHE AND NECKACHE that comes and goes after two days.

It hurts to scrunch my forehead and I had to forego my helmet on my ride home from the post office because it hurt too much when I had it on on the ride there.

One of these summers....

2008-08-26T09:07:00.003-04:00

One of these summers I am going to make it through to the end being able to wear ALL of my summer clothes to the bitter end and not just end up having to wear one pair of comfortable shorts and dread the thought of having to put on pants because I've gained weight and know they're not going to be too comfortable (thank God for low rise).

I work out like I always do but I eat...and eat...and eat. It's like self-sabatoge.

I'm not talking alot of weight it usually grows to 5 pounds by the end of summer but since I'm only 4'11ish", those 5 pounds extrapolated would probably equal 20? 25? on a person of "normal" height. It's THERE, around my waist first and then slowly creeping down to my already out of proportioned hips and thighs.

Every.morning I wake up and (seriously) ask God to help me get through the day eating right. And every.day I break down around 3:30-4pm when I come back into the house to stay.

I've started a journal to try and help me but usually by dinner time it's fallen by the wayside because I have the weight watchers point system ingrained in me and when I'm too lazy to figure out the points, I don't bother writing anything down. Guess I'll have to change that.

Got to get out of this sabatoge mode!

Time On My Hands

2008-08-25T10:47:00.004-04:00

I'm always grumbling and worrying that I don't have enough time. Especially when it comes to working in the office. Every Monday I worry about the stuff to get down, the hours to call into the payroll service....every Thursday it's the bills to pay...Wednesdays what I have to do before I leave to visit my father.

But when it's all said and done, I always have plenty of time for what needs to be done and then some.

I'm one of those hurry up and wait people. Well, hurry up and wait and then as everyone else is walking out the door, I remember the book I wanted to bring, or that I wanted to check and make sure the lights are all out - you get the picture.

This Thursday will add more angst to the pile as I begin my first "outside the home office" job in four years. I will be a Lunch Aide in the elementary school where I used to be the Library Aide for five years (which I left 4 years ago). The hours are somewhere around 10:45 to 2pm. This SHOULD leave me enough time to work out, take a shower and spend some time in the office before I have to be at school and then give me time to go home, check messages and finish up whatever I left behind. The only wrinkle will be changing the time I visit my father and bring his laundry and working in any client visits I schedule for my husband and me. Add to the mix the two hours on Wednesdays from 4 to 6pm that I volunteered to volunteer at the new Public Library bookstore will just give me another thing to worry about! But subtract one son who, as of Wednesday, I won't be wondering whether he'll be home for dinner - but who's visit I won't want to miss when he decides to come home (another worry!)

I think if I just learn to take a deep breath and take it all as it comes, I will realize I really have plenty of time - maybe I just need to work at making it more productive!

The Weekend

2008-08-23T07:46:00.002-04:00

We're heading to our little home away from home today with a special guest - OUR SON!

Believe it or not - although those with teenagers won't be surprised - we've had it almost a year and he's spent maybe 2 hours in it in that time. This is his first overnight trip. We go up usually for just one overnight but he would prefer to stay home by himself with however number of friends who come over and leave at which time he attempts to turn the house back into what it looked like before we left. Unfortunately for him I'm like a bloodhound with a photographic memory. I can spy a chair an inch out of place from across the street.

So yes! he's coming up with us to go fishing with his father and spend a weekend with us before he goes away (1/2 hour) to college. I think the fact that he's drifted away from a core group of friends has something to do with it. Or maybe he's realizing he's actually going to miss us? Whatever the reason - WE'LL TAKE IT!

Hair Be Gone

2008-08-21T21:43:00.004-04:00

Here's what I had this morning:

Here's what's left tonight:

Boy does it feel different!! And yikes! I never knew my hairline was so high!

When I got there Alex, my hairstylist had a loony-tunes woman in her chair. She brought all these different pictures in of what she wanted and then after Alex had it cut and dried she started pointing out parts she didn't like and what she wanted different. So Alex spent the next half hour (when I should have been in the chair), "fixing" this woman's hair!

Someone tried to be helpful and was going to wash my hair but I told them Alex and I like to sit and look at and talk about my hair before she cuts it. I didn't mind terribly but I felt bad for Alex. Come to find out the woman really is kooky and so Alex charges her double for cuts and colors hoping she will move on but she never does. And of course Alex can't tell her No, she doesn't want to take her as a customer!

I love having Alex cut my hair because she knows me and my personality and my style and I've never had a bad haircut. I know if I didn't get my haircut for another year, this cut would grow out perfectly. So I had a lovely cut and dry, no products, dried just using her hands and a little bit of brush. Tomorrow will be the real test!

I feel lighter!

Shh My hair can hear you

2008-08-21T09:12:00.003-04:00

I think my hair KNOWS when I've made an appointment to cut some of it off. It begins to behave and becomes more manageable. What's with that?

I have enough hair to hide a small village in it. It's THICK and right now LONG. I originally started growing it long to have it cut off for Lock of Love or that Pantene hair thing. But I've periodically cut it into layers because it get's so heavy and messy in just one length. Which is where it's at right now, about 2 inches past my shoulders and a layer around my chin. But I've just had enough. It was convenient enough for the summer because it was so friggin' hot I could put it in a ponytail or bun on top of my head. But now that I have to adjust my schedule when school starts (I'm a lunch lady yo!), I have to cut my morning process somewhere. And I'm one of those people who HAVE to dry my hair before I go out (well I finally broke down this summer but I only went out in a damp ponytail or bun).

So today's the day! My sister got a bob of sorts but hers is shorter than I want mine. Plus I don't want to look like the twins that we are. Too silly, 48 year old twins who have the same haircut? It's bad enough we show up to functions wearing practically the same thing without planning it. I've had the same hairdresser for about 12 years and she always knows what's best for my hair and WILL talk me out of something that definitely won't work (as I know she would tell me about Reese Witherspoon's bob that I adore - but maybe I just wish it would make me LOOK like Reese Witherspoon).

I have been known to go from super long hair to super short in the hour or so it takes a hairdresser to cut it off and style it (one hairdresser used to get so excited when I'd come in and say "Keith - cut it off!"). I hope I don't get too reckless today.

And then there's the glasses. Every request for a haircut (by me) is followed by "but don't forget I wear glassess all.the.time." Because sometimes when I'd have real short hair my hairdresser would cut the sides so there were little pieces in front of my ears and it would look so STUPID (to me) with my glasses on top of it. But that's just me.

I will probably get home and the difference will be so subtle because I've chickened out that my husband will say "you spent how much on that?".

But at least for now my hair's cooperating.

Brrrr...

2008-08-20T08:59:00.002-04:00

I knew this day was coming -- I just didn't think it would be so soon. I'm talking about the day I step into the shower and run the water skin meltingly hot so that the heat will soak into my bones because I'm so cold.

It felt like just yesterday - oh wait, it was just yesterday - I had to take a cool shower to avoid feeling like I had to take another shower after I got out of my shower. It doesn't matter that one of the differences between the two days was the fact that I worked out yesterday. There have been many days this summer when I didn't work out and was still sweating by 8am.

The other major difference between today and yesterday is this morning it was a bracing 49 degrees according to the weather update on my desktop! Brrrr....no wonder why I work out more and manage to lose weight in the fall when everyone else is settling in for a long winter's nap and a few extra pounds. Well, that and fear I won't fit into my pants when it comes time to put them on.

I'll have a blog with my coffee!

2008-08-20T07:41:00.003-04:00

My morning routine has been shifting left and right this summer. First when my son started working for my husband I had to make his lunch (I know, I know, let him do it himself...but he's my SON). Then my newspaper seems to come later and later everyday (6AM damnit - I want my newspaper!). And this week my husband has to leave the house earlier than usual to water a friend's outdoor plants across town.

I find myself plunked down in front of the computer early reading emails and my list of blogs on Google Reader (I'd like to kiss the person who invented THAT!). Sometimes, like today, I can't tear myself away and spent time writing loonnnggg comments to my favorite bloggers.

How ridiculous is it to say I feel like I have friends from all over the United States? That I can read about and talk to people that I feel a connection with? My family thinks I'm semi-insane by my attachment to the internet, blogs, message boards, etc. but I think that's just me. Listening, reading, learning.

I've always been sort of a loner. I remember Saturday nights taking walks. Just walking around town, thinking, probably wishing I was at a party but just lost in my thoughts. How weird is that? Don't get me wrong, I had friends, I went to parties, I had boyfriends (serial dater), but there was just a need to be alone sometimes too. Now, when my husband and son are out of the house, sometimes I'll just sit and knit. No tv, no music, just silence.

My routine will be changing again in a week and a half when our son moves into his dorm. I will no longer forego my workout to be around when he wakes up so I can graciously offer to make him breakfast. I'll be alone by 6:45 when my husband heads off to work and have no excuses not to workout. I'll be worrying about getting a few things done in the office before I head off to the elementary school to perform my duties as a Lunch Aide (oh there have been many jokes at my expense in the family since I took the job) to earn a few bucks outside the business (at which I earn no bucks). Yep, it's all gonna change again.

But now, I've been asked if I would PLEASE make breakfast so I'm off to pop a microwave breakfast bagel sandwich into the microwave!

The Customer's Always Right?

2008-08-13T14:43:00.003-04:00

So, we're finishing up a room addition for a client.

We gave him a payment schedule at the beginning of the job calling for payments every week with the last small payment at the end when the Punch List is compiled. Ok - no problem, checks received every Monday.

Last big check due Monday, husband tells me they'll be ALL FINISHED next Wednesday because they have to wait for the client's floor guy to finish installing the floor and the client has told him he'll pay him for both payments then.

Houston, we have a problem. I NEED this week's check to pay bills - hello?

I call the client and he tells ME, oh I don't pay that way, there's too much left to be done to pay you that check, I'm going to pay it all when he's done. I say "hmmm that's a problem, I have bills to pay that's why we do a payment schedule." Again he tells me, there's too much left to be done. I'll add the payments together and give you half now. How Gracious! If he had a fucking problem with the payment schedule he should have said something at the beginning. Things left to do are the reason why we let them hold onto the balance until the Punch List is completed.

He then goes on to say the drain was put in just like he asked so that's all done. The gutter guys came yesterday, so oh, that's all done. He thought the plumber and electrician were going to be there today - yes, I confirmed they were. ALL THE FUCKING THINGS THAT HE SAID LEFT TO MUCH TO BE DONE - HAVE BEEN DONE. For someone we've been working with for the last two months to suddenly decide to hold back money they owe us is such a slap in the face.

I told him I could come over this afternoon and pick up a check. We went back and forth over time to come and settled on 4:30pm.

I don't know how much further we have to bend over and take it from people with a smile on our faces for fear of upsetting them.

He's Off!

2008-08-11T09:11:00.003-04:00

My son starts his new job today as one of the equipment managers of the Southern Connecticut State University football team where he will start school in a few weeks.

Although he's played football forever, he's not quite the size or weight to play college football. Fortunately for us, the football coach is a town resident, played for our high school and for Southern and still goes to some of our games. I always made it a point to say hi or talk to him about my brother in law who is a coach at Dean College in Massachusetts and who also played for Southern in college.

At a school event in the spring Coach asked me if Cody was interested in working while he was at school. I said "Of course he would!"

So he left a few minutes ago with his forms and copy of birth certificate in hand to fill out his employment forms and then head over to the field house along with the other managers and the football team to start their first day of football camp to prepare for the season.

Although he would probably rather be able to play college ball, he was pretty excited after his brief orientation meeting on Friday about what he will be doing. I am happy for him that he will have the chance to be a part of a team (what would a football team be without people to take care of their equipment?!) and get to know other students a little earlier, get a feel for the campus a little sooner than everyone else. For three weeks he'll have to drive back and forth (only the players get to move in early) but once school starts his classes are arranged to have him through by 2:30pm.

Am I sad to see him go? A little but this is really the start of his next big adventure. I hope he really enjoys it all and makes the most of his college experience in a good and positive way. Football has always been a really really big part of our lives and I'm hoping for him it will make the transition easy for him.

Random thoughts from my scooter

2008-08-02T11:08:00.005-04:00

I spend the major portion of my drive time on my Yamaha Vino 49cc scooter and BOY does it give me time to think! I think about:

How much I love riding my scooter and how all my cares and worries blow away when I'm on it...

How three girls from the same family can be so alike yet so different - and two of them are twins!...

How the same three girls can produce three different quantities and sexes of kids - 2 girls; 1 girl, 1 boy; 1 boy - and have them all be so different. Nuture vs. Nature at it's finest. I guess that's the answer to my second musing!...

How much I hate particular clients of ours sometimes. How people can think you are ripping them off yet try to take advantage of you everytime you turn your back...

How I miss working with people and being in an office but know I still have to be available to my husband's office because it's my first priority...

How I love my cat and I'm glad he's back but he can be such a pain in the ass sometimes! In and out. In and out. In and out...

How I can't understand why people are incapable of putting their shopping carts in the cart holder in the parking lot. If you're concerned about your groceries, or your kids, lock the door before you walk it over there. Seriously...

How the smells can be so SHARP as I ride by - the flowers on the bushes, the food in the restaurants, the stinky bushes in front of the library!...

How come August 1st BAM the weather in the morning changes and you can just SENSE that something's different and Fall is in the air...

A Thank You Letter

2008-07-24T09:58:00.004-04:00

Dear current Federal Government,

Thank you for the Economic Stimulus Check you sent us. It will come in handy to PAY MY BILLS because the remodel business has slowed to a crawl thanks to the recession that we're NOT in right now.

It's interesting to note that we're not eligible for the Child Credit because our son turned 18 in 2008. It doesn't matter to you that that event occurred in mid-July and with him going to college and all, the money would have come in handy to buy the things he needs for college. It would have helped to kick start the economy like you say. But I guess where you all come from, you just kick their ass out the door the minute they turn 18, eh? So then how come THEY don't get any kind of tax break. Interesting....

Sincerely,
Nancy Benson
The woman who feels like she can't catch a break these days

He's Home, He's Home Home Home

2008-07-20T22:16:00.005-04:00

YAYYYY!!!

After waiting for Chuckie to come home - and more than that, thinking he was dead - my neighbor suggested I go to the animal shelter in town.

So I called and got their hours and went down there with a picture and a little note written up in case no one was in.

I walked in and said "My cat is missing and I wanted to see if he's here". I showed the man Chuckie's picture and his eyes got wide and he looked at the girl next to him and he said "I think we have your cat!"

We walked into the caged area and there he was!!!!!

What happened was this: On July 3rd he was under a neighbor's car acting strange and wouldn't come out. When he finally did, he was staggering around and the neighbor thought he got hit by a car so he called animal control. Animal control came and took him and then brought him to the vet to be checked out. The funny thing is, it's the same vet he normally goes to but no connection was made!
Evidently he has a deep inner ear infection. It's called Vestibular Syndrome which is just another name for Kitty VERTIGO. Oddly enough my husband has the adult version. Even more odd is Chuckie had an incident just like this one last year, right around this time, in the same sort of intense heat!

He has been home for a couple of days now, getting his antibiotics faithfully from me and the best part is he's still wobbly so he can't move fast enough to get away from me when I go to wrap him in a towel!

He is spending alot of time in the cool basement but this evening managed to climb up onto the couch and lay next to me so I could rub his belly which I was very happy to do.

Missing!

2008-07-08T13:30:00.003-04:00

WAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our cat Chuckie Finster Benson has been missing since last Wednesday evening!

I call and call and Cody searched the path between our street and a main street down below but no sign of him.

His friend Kit Kat comes over from next door every day and I ask him if he's seen him but he doesn't answer me (Oh I wish cats could talk!).

He's nine, just had his rabies shot, hasn't appeared sick - except for the chewed up cat food and a lovely mouse's head that he deposited on the front mat a week or so ago.

Sometimes I turn my head and think I see him, or I hear the screen and think it's his claws on it and run to the door and look around. But he's not there.

Now I'm sorry I started avoiding sitting in a particular chair because I wanted to knit and not have to pet him. He would jump on the arm of the chair and then flop himself down, wedging himself between me and the arm of the chair. I would have to constantly rub his belly or at least keep a hand there or else he would turn around and give me a look of "don't stop!". So you see, knitting was impossible. I started sitting on the couch. Sometimes he would lay in the middle of the chair and sometimes he would come over and look up at me and then jump on the couch and lay down - but now close enough to pet so I was safe for awhile.

He drove me insane at night because with the doors open he always knew where we were and would go in and out (sorry -- would be LET in and out) after climbing up the screen to give us the signal.

We've had him since he was 6 weeks old so there's a little hole in my heart right now. I hope he comes home soon.....

KABOOOOM

2008-07-06T20:30:00.003-04:00

I have so many thoughts constantly rolling around in my head right now -- conversations, worries, fears -- my head is going to explode pretty soon. My neck aches from the heaviness of them all.

Class Reunions

2008-06-27T13:15:00.004-04:00

Why do people hate their class reunions so much? Why do I always look forward to mine even though I can only remember most of the "terrible" of high school and only some of the "great"? I don't care who my classmates were, I want to know who they are NOW.

I work on the committee and can't understand why people don't even have the common courtesy to mail in their freakin' response card and say "No". Is it REALLY that difficult to get off your couch, find a stamp, and let us know you're not coming?

Every five years about 10 of us - 4 regulars, 6 that drift in and out - meet and plan and search for names and address and get stressed out over the declining attendance and argue about the best way to get people to show up. I'm beginning to believe there IS no secret, there IS no magic trick to get people to want to come. We started planning a year in advance, we moved the date from November to July and still (so far) the replies are dismal. No John, if they didn't come five years ago, a luau and having to dress up in a Hawaiian shirt is NOT the way to entice them.

After it's over I always want to tell them to count me out, I've had enough. But for some reason I just can't give up on it.

The Queen

2008-06-26T10:51:00.004-04:00

I'm a real piece of work as my mother would say.
Here it is Thursday and at 6:30 this morning I was already complaining to my husband about the week that lay (lie?) ahead.

Monday - doctor's appointment for me
Tuesday - doctor's appointment for me
Wednesday - cataract surgery for my father
Thursday - post-op doctor's visit for my father
Friday - 4th of July

Hectic huh? But WAIT, Monday the appointment's at 2:15, so I have all morning to get my work done (and still work out); Tuesday it's at 9am, the whole day is ahead of me since I'm in and out in 15 minutes; Wednesday, ok, not such a quicky and I'll probably stay with him for awhile in his assisted living apartment to make sure he's comfortable - but Wednesday is my down day and the day I normally visit him. Thursday is the only real inconvenience because I pay my bills Thursdays and that week don't have Friday to fall back on because of the holiday.

You'd think my life was one big ball of hectic by listening to me sometimes. But really it's not.

Just call me the Queen of the Complainers!

Hail Dear Lyman Hall!

2008-06-18T19:29:00.004-04:00

I was "cleaning" my son's room this morning and found his instructions for graduation rehearsals. One of the items is that the seniors need to memorize the words to the school song. I thought this was incredibly interesting because -- I don't think any of them even KNOW there's a school song. Why's that? Because they never play it anywhere but graduation!

When I was in high school - at Lyman Hall - the band played the school song right after the national anthem, and we all sang along and we would shout those last words "Hail Dear Lyman Hall". OK, so I already knew the words because we learned them when we were little from pouring over my mother's yearbook on a regular basis. I also taught myself sign language from the dictionary but that's a story for another day. Back to this story...

So one day between the time we moved here in 1995 and today I saw one of my former teachers who was always involved with sports events and I said "what's up with not playing the school song at football games anymore?". And he said "huh! I didn't even notice they stopped, they need to start again." And I remember they did start playing the song but then it was gone again.

So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to email the principal (after graduation is over of course, because I'm sure he has enough on his plate right now) and I'm going to tell him that I think the school needs to start playing the song at assemblies, at sports events and anywhere the school gathers as a whole. Because if it's important enough to sing at graduations I think everyone should know it before they get to that event.

What's Goin' On

2008-06-16T17:50:00.005-04:00

It's already been a month since I went to PARIS. What a life changing experience that was. I was with three other women, not a man in sight and honestly, it was pretty fabulous to not worry about anyone but myself!

My memories of the sights and fun are my new Happy Place. I like to close my eyes and remember the Eiffel Tower and Sacre Couer and Notre Dame and Versailles - how breathtaking they all were. I grew up and live in a town that was established in 1670 so I've always had a thing for history AND alot of the sights were built AFTER 1670! But it was the HISTORY of it all. It was fascinating and beautiful. As soon as I got home I went to the library and found a book about Marie Antoinette to read. It was historical fiction - Abundance by Sena Jeter Naslund - and it was fascinating because I never knew she spent all her time at Versailles except for when she was in prison before being beheaded!

The trip reminded me of our earlier trips to New York City. We would always go to the tourist sights when we first started visiting NYC. But as we became more comfortable with it we would branch out to different areas, take the subway more often and really get away from the crowds. In Paris we were in the Notre Dame area three different times and we went to all the tourist sights and we probably ate at the more touristy restaurants. But I think you HAVE to when you go some where spectacular like that. On my next trips(!), I will get off the main routes and explore!

I Am What I Am

2008-05-01T10:31:00.003-04:00

As I pack for my trip to PARIS(!!!!) I have decided to allow the Parisians to see me as I see myself -- a 48 year old woman who never reached 5 feet, is maybe 5 to 7 pounds over her ideal weight, has hair longer than acceptable on an older woman, who prefers jeans to Dockers, flat shoes to heels, plain colored t-shirt style shirts to ones with buttons and wears her glasses 24/7. I want to travel in comfort, act like a tourist (which means walking with my head looking UP til I get a crick in it) and stop at every Patisserie and Boulangerie that I cross paths with. They will be my breakfast, lunch and dinners.

This Is My Day

2008-04-22T20:04:00.005-04:00

Today at 4:33am, I officially became 48 years old, five minutes before my twin sister did.

It was a glorious day - sunny, warm, quiet. We had family from Washington State visiting over the weekend and this was the first day since Thursday that I had the house to myself. I love visitors but I also love my "aloneness".

I received my card and birthday bag of Jelly Bellies from my husband who has learned over the last 20 years that the card better be there in the morning and the seal better be dry. None of that "picking up a birthday card on the way home from work to present it to me at 5:30pm with the seal still damp" crap for me!

My son presented me with his card and birthday bag of Jelly Bellies when I finished my workout before he went to school.

I rode my scooter to the bank and post office and library and copy store and Walmart to pick up our Carvel ice cream cake and convinced my husband to hop on his scooter and come with me to the women's clothes store to pick out some charms for my sister's Pandora bracelet. She just got it at Christmas and she only had the one charm on it(!) so my husband and I got her three. A little bit more than we usually spend on each other but I glanced at my checkbook balance and I had enough to cover it with only one more day til banking so I figured "what the heck"...

Dinner was my husband and I - me cooking of course - with my sister and her family coming over after their dinner out to open presents and have cake. She bought me a boat paddle with the word "Relax" on it and three pegs to hang things as well as a ceramic planter in the shape of a watering can and I will bring both to the cabin to use.

My husband and I saw a kayak at Cabela's the other day that the price was pretty good and it was on sale to boot so we will try to get up there this week and pick one up. We're both past the point of surprises so it there's something big that we like, we buy it and it serves as a birthday present.

After the Flood

2008-04-14T09:45:00.003-04:00

I watched a documentary last night on Discovery called "St. Bernard Parish - After the Flood". It was filmed in 2006 and dealt with the devastation of St. Bernard Parish from Hurricane Katrina - the only time an ENTIRE county has been destroyed by a natural disaster in the United States. They followed one of the town councilors who has been working desperately to have the government give their county the 11.2 million dollars that was promised to them for rebuilding. But, of course, after they wait and wait they're informed that they haven't yet filled out the 100 page application for the money and by the way, if it's not totally complete or they don't cross their t's and dot their i's, it will be delayed some more.
They talked to Polly, a single mother of two and the council secretary who lost everything in the flood. At work, she sees and hears first hand every day the bureaucratic bullshit that FEMA is putting the Parish through for the money they deserve.
Families are living in trailers, lined up in rows. The trailers would be uncomfortable for my family to live in for a week and these people have had to live in them for over a year.
The principal of Chalmette High School said she talked to FEMA about getting trailers set up so they could start school in November of 2005. FEMA told her that wouldn't be possible. It wouldn't happen until at least March or April of 2006!! She said she had enough and told them "then we'll do it ourselves and send you the bill." They found trailers in Georgia and surrounding states, shipped them in and started school in November.
They showed families cleaning out the debris in their homes and the hoops they have to go through to get the debris taken away.
As I watched the program, I could feel myself getting so angry. My stomach was in knots and it brought tears to my eyes. I feel so helpless watching things like this going on in the United States knowing that the government does NOT have the best interests of their citizens in mind.
Coincidentally during this week of school vacation, my niece and about 40 other students are in Violet, Louisianna in St. Bernard Parish for the second year in a row to help with the rebuilding process. They are staying in Camp Good Hope which they helped to renovate last year which provides housing for groups who head to St. Bernard Parish throughout the year. My niece said it was the most rewarding thing she's every done.
I felt helpless watching the documentary imagining losing everything that surrounded me at that moment and I still wonder this morning what I can do to help make a difference.

Hooked!

2008-04-11T11:28:00.003-04:00

God help me, I'm hooked on Google Reader.

It's all HER fault -- Linda at Things What Things. I can't make my linky thing work so it's http://thingswhatthings.wordpress.com. She wrote about it a week or so ago and since I read blogs on three different computers around my house and office I thought I should give it a try. IT'S AWESOME!!!

You just sign up and when you find a blog you like, you subscribe and everytime your favorite bloggers blog something, it'll be there waiting for you. So now whenever I pass a computer in my house I have to sign in to it to see if anyone's posted anything. I'm obsessed! They also have a handy feature that links you to recommended posts based on the blogs you currently subscribe to. So of course I've added like 10 knitting blogs to my list. I should BE knitting, not READING about it!

The Latest Craze in Crime

2008-04-07T20:21:00.007-04:00

Home Invasions seem to be the Crime d'Jour and it's starting to freak me out.

We had that horrific home invasion in July in Cheshire which is one town over. The mother and two daughters were raped and tied to their beds and died from smoke inhalation when the shitheads set their home on fire with the husband knocked out in the basement.

Two weeks ago on a Sunday morning in New Britain, two 60ish ladies were drinking coffee in their kitchen and someone came in - I can't even say "broke in" because it was Sunday Morning for God's sake - and decided he had to kill them because they saw his face! He shot at one, who I don't know if she actually was shot but "played dead" and he took the other one with him, killed her and dumped her body in the woods.

The two in the first crime and the one in the recent one were of course recent parollees from prison. Of course this one and that in the Prison system are pointing fingers all over the place and legislators are trying to pass the Three Strike law.

Personally, I don't think that's the answer but unfortunately I don't know WHAT the answer to it is. I do know that I've started to lock my kitchen door when I leave it and walk 20 yards or so to my office in the garage. I locked it tonight right after I finished cleaning up from dinner. I think that's the only answer I have right now.

Cobblestone Sweater - Done!

2008-04-06T20:02:00.005-04:00

I finished my husband's sweater! Yay! It is the Cobblestone Sweater from the Fall '07 issue of Interweave Knits. It's made with Classic Elite Skye Tweed in a lovely pumpkiny color that husband selected.

It was fairly easy to make - the "Make 1"s threw me at the beginning for some reason but after Annie Modesitt's class where she coincidently showed us an easier way to do them, I was able to make them a little better.

It fits fabulously with the exception of the sleeves. His arms are a little short for his body size and I didn't really think about the construction of the sweater before I knit them. For this sweater you knit to the armholes, put the front and back on stitch holders and 15 for the top and bottom of the armholes on waste yarn. When the sleeves are completed you knit the front, pick up the top of a sleeve, knit the back pick up the top of the other sleeve so the 19" of sleeve starts down low - below the garter stitch that you can kind of see is the yoke. And for some reason the knitting of the sleeves felt really sloppy when I was knitting it. Hopefully blocking shape it up.

Aside from my hypercriticalness, he loves it and it really looks great on him. I told him I would make him another either in the same yarn or with some Tahki Donegal Tweed I've had for awhile. I think I have enough of it (it's a cone with about 1700 yards on it from Webs) to make his sweater plus something for me.

A Week In Review

2008-04-06T19:36:00.004-04:00

Last week was a CR-AZY week.

It started with a dinner on Saturday night for husband's 50th birthday. He didn't want a party (I asked) so we hosted dinner for fourteen at our favorite restaurant in town. We had a greaaattt time but Sunday morning found us all a little worse for wear with a banquet to go to!!

We all shaped up quick and spent the afternoon honoring my son and 28 other senior scholar-athletes for the local chapter of the National Football Foundation and College Football Hall of Fame.

Wednesday son came home limping from a track meet. He was running the last leg of the 4x100 meter relay and as he crossed the finish line he felt something "pop" and fell to the ground (glad I wasn't there to see it!).

Thursday I wouldn't take no for an answer and got him in to see the orthopaedic doctor. X-rays show he partially tore his Long Head Rectus (which I think is a muscle) from his hip. I'm sketchy on it but I think that muscle connects to the quadricep. SO, we're waiting for the doctor's office to call us with a date and time for an MRI because as the doctor told us "95 out of 100 not need surgery but because he's still growing and it's a cartilidge growth plate we want to make sure" ARGGHHHH!

Friday I work up with a stomach bug! I spent the day on the couch in between jaunts to the bathroom. Of course husband came down with it on Friday night! We both finally started feeling better this afternoon.

Here's to a better week!!

Girl Scout Cookies

2008-03-12T12:37:00.002-04:00

All I can say is Thank God they only come around once a year or I'd be the size of a HOUSE.

Oh, I start out with the best of intentions when I buy them - "oh I'll be good", "I'll only buy 2 boxes of our favorites", blahblahblahblah. And then they arrive....

I received my first order on Friday at 11AM. By 11:30, I had eaten one sleeve of Thin Mints. So I skipped lunch. And dinner.

Weekend...more of the same. But at least I eat a good breakfast of oatmeal!

Monday, I head out to pick up my second order of cookies. I sat and talked to my friend who sold them to me. In a half an hour I had finished 3/4 of a sleeve of Trefoils. No Lunch again!

Today I walked over to the house for a snack at 11AM and had a very healthy WW yogurt, and two Do-Si-Dos, and three Lemon Cremes, followed by FIVE Thin Mints. I had to get out of there!! They are almost gone, and I can't wait. Let's hope I don't run into any Girl Scouts selling them in front of the store because I can't deny them a sale.

He's a Scholar AND and Athlete

2008-03-11T20:25:00.004-04:00

Our son was one of 29 football players in New Haven County selected as a Scholar-Athlete by the New Haven Chapter of the National Football Foundation and the College Football Hall of Fame.

He was nominated by his coach (the man on the left) and picked by the selection committee of the Foundation. The award is based on grades, contribution on the field and community service. I feel like he's finally receiving what he deserves.

And all I can think about is how SHORT I am in this picture.

Happy Birthday To You!

2008-03-11T16:03:00.004-04:00

My husband is 50 years old today.

We've been together for 21 years and married for 20 and he is my best friend, my business partner, my partner in crime, and my cohort when it comes to overindulging on ice cream and tasty treats.

We met on vacation in Jamaica in line for the beer truck and have barely left each other's side since then. There was no doubt in our minds that we would be together.

He's changed his life and our lives for the better and he's showed our son how hard work and perseverance pay off.

He is loved and respected by many and he deserves it all.

Here's to 50 more birthdays!

Thrill of a Lifetime!

2008-03-03T12:17:00.007-05:00

On Saturday I spent the day knitting with a group of women. It wasn't just the knitting that was so special - although spending a day doing nothing but sitting and knitting is pretty freakin' amazing - it was that our teacher was the utterly awesome ANNIE MODESITT.

I discovered Annie's blog through another blog and became hooked on her, her family, and the stories she had to share. It was just a bonus that she was also a fabulous knitter and designer.

When I received her newsletter and saw she was going to be in Mystic to teach two classes I knew I had to go. Of course, it had to snow on Friday night and create messy weather for my 1 1/2 hour drive but I just left a little earlier.

Our first class, which was held at Mystic River Yarns, was Combination Knitting which is a different way of inserting the needles into the stitches for both knitting and purling. My purl stitches are always looser than my knit stitches and I usually have to use a needle 1 to 3 times smaller than what's called for. Amazingly using the combination method my purl stitches were tighter and there was definitely a better "look" to my sample knitting. She also taught us how to knit cables without using a cable needle. I'd learned that before but it was a very nice refresher course - especially with her little "story" to accompany the moves!

We broke for lunch which was part of the price of the day and at the end of lunch I won one of two carry bags they raffled off - Yay me!

Our second class, also with Annie, was "Knitting with Wire", which I had no idea what that was all about! We walked over to "You've Got to be Beading" and set up class. We literally knit 26 gauge wire with metal knitting needles. It looks REALLY messy when you do it but then you block it - stretch it out from side to side and top to bottom. Some ladies' pieces were really good - mine was just so-so. We practiced and then we cast on stiches with beads and knit that up to create a bracelet. We ran out of time so we watched as Annie put together one piece into a bracelet and it looked really good! I think I remember enough of the finishing to finish my own.

After the class was over, we went back to Mystic River Yarns where Lily Chin (another fabulous designer who also has her own line of yarn) had a trunk show. Her stuff is really neat and because she short like me, I liked the pieces she designed because I think she keeps herself in mind when she designs! I bought two of Annie's books (one is autographed yay!) and a skein of Manos Del Uruguay kettle dyed yarn in Wildflowers because I've always loved the colors of it.

Driving home I was on Cloud 9 from the wonderful day, the wonderful teacher, and the wonderful women I talked to and shared my knitting tales.

If you want to know who Annie is, look to the right in the What I'm Reading Online section. She's listed as "Knitting Heretic".

The Waiting Game

2008-02-28T12:49:00.006-05:00

My son got accepted to his first choice school but he's on the "Wait List". Think of it as your Wedding Reception B List. As the RSVPs from your A-listers arrive you add up the "Nos" and start searching your B List for your choices to fill those slots.

While I understand the competitiveness to get into this school (I'm not naming it for Karmic reasons) it slays me that my son who is a B student, honor roll every semester except for one, 4 years football, 2 years track, Relay for Life member, Record-Journal Scholar-Athlete, National Football Foundation Scholar-Athlete, honors and AP courses throughout high school sits and waits while the oh so glorious basketball team is recruiting for the school to accept students (oh I use the word loosely here) that have to take the SATs 5 or 6 times just to meet the requirement, or have attended 4 or 5 high schools in the last four years (sometimes moving for better teams to play on, other times being asked to leave). They have students on the team who were suspended from the team for a year for stealing computers during the summer, suspended for being caught with alcohol in their car, suspended because they flunked their drug test for the third time. But as the coach will tell you "they're good kids, they just make mistakes".

Bitter much? you bet!

So he has his 2nd choice picked, the deposit is paid and we'll go along planning for his to go there until his first choice school makes their final decision at the end of May. At which point, if it's a positive response, we'll have to scramble to get the deposit in, get the freshman orientation session selected, etc.

Recent Knits

2008-02-22T11:52:00.009-05:00

I've been knitting like a house on fire lately! Probably because I'm knitting a sweater for my husband and that can be kind of borrriinnnnggggg so I browsed my "One Skein Wonder" book and found all these great things to knit from my stash. I had also realized I didn't have a single hat for myself and so had to rectify that!

So here's some pictures of my recent projects:

OK, the black hat is the "Brangelina" hat designed by Crazy Aunt Purl. It is SO warm and it's made with Lions Brand Chunky yarn that costs only about $5.50 at Michaels! And it took me only one weekend to knit it. Of course I then had to go out and get more yarn to knit my husband his own hat.

Generally I think hats suck because I never know what to do with my hair and because I wear glasses I feel like I look like a freak with a hat on but this hat is loose and I twirl my hair up first and then put the hat on from back to front (not mashing it on my head) and it looks pretty good if I do say so myself.

The second is a "Coif". I found the pattern on Knitty.com (the Spring 03 issue) and I knit it because -- I had a skein of GGH Goa yarn in my stash! The woman who designed it (Megan Reardon) said her inspiration was a cap she found in a costume shop and she thinks it was supposed to be a Medieval biggen or coif. She likes it because she can wear her hair pulled back and still keep her ears warm. Hey, I'm with her on that one!

Last, but not least, are my first every matching hat and mittens. They are made out of Malbrigo and they are sooo soft. Of course one mitten is slightly larger than the other because that is the case with any knitting I do in pairs. The second one is always a little looser. I'm trying to work on that problem! And the hat is from a pattern than was in one of those "Knit Pattern a Day" calendars. Also very warm and cozy and pretty much the same style as the Brangelina hat.

I've moved on to the first sleeve of my husband's sweater but I realized I did the M1 stitch wrong down by the wrist when I first started increasing. I lifted the yarn between the stitches but knit it from the FRONT instead of the BACK and there are gaps where the increases are. I realized my mistake when I had to do the same M1 on the coif and had the same holes. So I finally did what I should have done before and dragged out the glossary of stitches. Still contemplating ripping back to those increases. Sometimes I'm able to ignore things like that and other times I look at it every time I pick it up until I can't stand it any longer and rip it back.

Now my husband wants a "going out hat" but more of a beanie type so I'm trying to figure out/find a pattern that will be what he wants in the Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Aran that I want to knit it in.

What the??!!?

2008-02-20T13:34:00.006-05:00

So, I'm driving home around noon. Just going down the street, a mile from town and just before I go to turn up my street, I see these creatures on the side of the road - 4 of them. "Oh, wild turkeys" I thought, because they have been seen going through our yard on occasion. Since I always carry my camera in my bag, I went up the hill and came back down the other street closer to where they were.

Let me tell you, these weren't no turkeys! I think they were vultures minus the droopy heads ala Disney's "Jungle Book" of the 50s. They were some scary ass looking birds! So I'm sitting at the corner looking at them one house over and two of them were tearing away at a piece of roadkill and they other two are sort of wandering around. I can see the cars coming down the street slowing down to stare at them. So I slowly turn the corner and edge up and take a couple of pictures.

But of course my curiousity was only whetted (yeah, I had to look it up) and I had to go BACK around the block and up to them again. THIS time, I put on my blinker and pulled up verrrrryyyy slowwwlllly to the last remaining beast that was still tearing away at the carcass and took THIS:

It was Crazy!

Gospel music...

2008-02-11T20:26:00.000-05:00

...makes me cry.

I don't know why but as soon as they start singing, I start crying. And I don't mean sniffles - it's tears running down my face, close to sobs kind of crying.

Is it the beauty of it? The swell of voices?

I don't understand, but I'll keep listening to it.

In Memory of Eileen

2007-12-28T21:41:00.000-05:00

In my local newspaper today there was an obituary for a 47 year old woman I went to school with from first through 12th grade. Her name was Eileen and she was really one of the nicest people I knew.
from first through eighth grade we went to Holy Trinity School together. With each grade having from 30-50 students each, we all knew each other really well by the time we graduated and we were cheerleaders together in 8th grade.
We were in high school together too but no longer were in any of the same classes and lost touch. She made the cheerleading squad her senior year and we cheered together again for one more year.
Eileen always had a smile on her face and a happy personality.
Her obituary says she was an echocardiograph technician and she took many trips to Russia with the Healing the Children Foundation to train healthcare professionals on the use of cardiac ultrasound equipment.
She leaves behind her husband of 24 years and two sons....and many many friends and acquaintances who will miss her and remember her fondly.

THE YEAR IN REVIEW

2007-12-26T22:29:00.000-05:00

2007 started out with a surprise - my husband finally decided he needed to get back in shape. Over the last few years he stopped working out (even though he has a lovely recumbent bike in the basement), started eating too many snacks at night and was becoming a little too familiar to the package store owner around the corner. He really put his mind to it and went from 198 pounds to 172; eating right, working out and taking care of himself yay! It's amazing when after all my years of gentle nagging he acts like he discovered the connection between feeling good and sleeping better. Like HE discovered it or something!

We started hiking on Sunday mornings - nothing too strenuous. Sleeping Giant for a couple of hours. We rocked it until Easter morning and then we just stopped! He likes to go EARLY and I like to read my newspaper first. We'll have to find a compromise for 2008!

We went off to Canada again for February vacation but unbeknownst to us it would be our last Canada trip - while planning for this year we found out the hotel went bankrupt - boo! And to think this time I was planning to take it easy and only ski a couple of days!

My father found himself back in the hospital with CHF for a couple of weeks and then spent 2 weeks in rehab. building himself back up again. It was scary but he pulled himself through and looks better than he has in a long time.

My son got his drivers license in April and we've barely seen him since - oh well, we're getting good practice for when he goes off to college.

The summer was hot and we spent many afternoons in the pool - sweet relief!

The first of August we were in California spending a couple of days by ourselves in San Francisco, a few days with friends in Healdsburg and a few days in Twain Harte with hubby's dad. The weather was great, time in SF was faboo, and it was great to see everyone and then be home again.

September brought LHHS football. They started out winningly but then lost, lost, won and lost some more to a 3-7 season losing the Thanksgiving game to our rivals. Oh well, we lost to them my senior year too.

We bought a "cabin" near a lake in Connecticut. My sister and her husband bought a "cottage" near the same lake. We're a 1/2 mile away from each other. If you saw the two houses you would say "oh yeah! that's a cabin and that's a cottage!". Ours needs some work and theirs doesn't. I guess it's perfect then that hubby is a builder!

Christmas has come and gone - this year we celebrated with the extended family on the Sunday before Christmas. 25 people in my house - oy! It was crowded. It was fun but with no where to go on Christmas Day I felt like something was missing! Oh well, it won't happen that way every year.

Now it's time to plan for the New Year!

Hiking With My Best Friend

2007-03-20T21:46:00.000-04:00

How luck am I to be married for nineteen years and still think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread? My husband is my best friend and the one person I always enjoy hanging out with.

This is our self portrait during one of our hikes in Sleeping Giant State Park on a lovely Sunday morning.

I study our little map and pick out a route to take and figure how many miles it will be. I try for at least 3 or 4 miles. My husband has to get back for his Nascar race you know! And if we go early enough (10ish) we beat the crowds on a nice day.

We pack our little "waist packs" with our water bottles and chapstick and camera and we're on our way! Oh! and our hiking shoes! We have new hiking shoes -- he has boots, I have shoes. Much better than sneakers. And Fleece! Lots of fleece!

I like the routes that take us up, up, up the east side to look out on New Haven and the Long Island Sound beyond. Right below us is Quinnipiac University and you can see all the construction going on. Right now in the woods is rushing water and icy spots and it's so beautiful but it's hard to look up when you're looking down to make sure you don't slip and fall!

We like to talk -- but not about work! And we talk about whatever comes to mind. Of course he says I talk just to hear myself talk, blah,blah,blah. But that's o.k. I don't think he minds. I think he likes being with me as much as I like being with him. We talk about hiking some parts of the Appalachian Trail in Connecticut and Massachusetts and hopefully this summer we will.

Movie Night!

2007-03-20T21:28:00.000-04:00

My friends and I go to the movies every Tuesday night for $5 night at our local theater. Every Friday I check the movie guide to see what's new and a round of phone calls are made. At the most there are four of us. Most times three, sometimes only two. We usually agree on what movie to see and since I can be somewhat *ahem* domineering, I try not to impose my movie choice on every one every week! We go a half hour early, get our snacks (Skittles and Water!), take our seats in the middle of the back row and catch up on a week's worth of news. We all lived in the same neighborhood until they all left me one after the other. Our kids all grew up together and still socialize now that they are in high school.

We've seen some stinkers - Hollywoodland comes to mind - and we've laughed our asses off at Little Miss Sunshine and The Devil Wears Prada to name a few.

Surprisingly, all enjoyed Lake House with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves when it came out - I actually saw it twice - I think someone missed out the first time we saw it and it was just she and I the second time.

Tonight we went to see Premonition again with Sandra Bullock. It was freaky to think about the days of the week coming out of order! I only had two gripes about it: 1) her daughter didn't have any scars on her face on Thursday and, 2) her husband's car went up into flames so I don't think there would be much to put in a casket. That's all I'm sayin', you can figure it out when/if you see it and say "oh yeah, I see what you're talking about!"

Also, and this is just me probably but -- I just could NOT relate to the issues she and her husband had in their marriage! I mean, my husband and I have had our beefs in the past but I couldn't relate to that profound unhappiness. I had a really hard time with that and obviously, they did a really good job acting and portraying that type of emotional crisis in a marriage!

Overall, good movie regardless of the shitty reviews it probably got. I rarely believe any one who reviews movies anyway so go see it for yourself!

Children are like dogs, teenagers are like cats

2007-02-11T14:35:00.000-05:00

There was a tale passed on to me when my son was little that said children are like dogs. They're always there when you call them, always by your side, your best friend and so on. Teenagers on the other hand are like cats. They ignore you, they come around for food and sometimes turn their nose up at it, they never come when they're called. I thought, "oh how sad! I'm not looking forward to that time."

Well, that time has arrived. My 16 1/2 year old son is now a cat. In fact, he's more like a cat than my 9 year old cat! My cat sits in my lap. That's somewhere my son wouldn't be caught dead sitting these days.

Oh I know - he's growing up, asserting his independence, blah, blah, blah. That doesn't mean I have to like it! We let out the rope that's been holding him close ever so slightly time and time again. And sometimes we have to pull it back in again but we are letting him go.

The story goes on to say that eventually the teenagers come around and become your dog when you least expect it. Not quite the same dog, but a dog none the less.

The only problem I have is -- I'm a dog and my son's a cat! Sometimes I'm a big ol' Labrador jumping and licking and bounding all over that cat who wants none of it. I may get a big swat on my nose (figuratively) and go to my corner to lick my wounds. Sometimes I'm a pesky chihuahua barking and barking and turning away and suddenly barking some more until the cat swishes his tail, sticks his nose in the air and disappears! But if I sit back like a cat and keep quiet, I see glimpses of my good old dog son and I'm so happy for them.

I have to work on my own cat skills and maybe for the next few years we'll develop a happy middle ground until my dog comes back to me again.

2007-02-08T17:20:00.000-05:00

I Am A Knitter

I LOVE to knit. It took me so long to start knitting but I think I was just resisting my well-meaning friend's insistence that "it's so much better than cross-stitch" and "you will be so good at it" and "we can go to WEBS and buy lots and lots (and lots) of yarn".

When I finally broke down and decided to give it a try, I borrowed Melanie Falick's "Kids Knitting" book for the summer from the school library where said friend is the librarian and I was her able bodied assistant. My theory was - if kids can learn from this book, then I should be able to! I followed the book page by page, project by project and by the end of the summer I knit just about everything in the book. I made a bear (or some creature) and a vest for him with buttons that cost more than the yarn. I made myself a sweater which is really very cozy. Because I'm very short (4'11") I can get away with large children's sizes if they are oversized.

I progressed to hats of all colors and yarn types which my husband loves , socks using double pointed needles after I took a class called "Four Needles Are Your Friend" and two other sweaters - one for me and one for my husband (but not matching or anything). I've even made socks to wear with flip flops which are really comfortable. I made my husband and son hats in our High School colors. My husband is bald (by choice) so I HAVE to use the softest yarn I can find. After two h.s. hats that were "too scratchy", I settled on Debbie Bliss's Cashmerino Aran for his hat. It really is SOFT!

What I really like about knitting is not the finished product but the making of it. I love the Knitting of Knitting. While I'm making something I think about how I would change it for next time, add a different stitch here, or different border there. I wonder what it would look like in a different color or type of yarn. When I first started knitting I would dream about it and sometimes I can't wait to just go sit on the couch and knit!

Of course I always swore that I would NEVER have the stash of yarn that my friend has - that I'D NEVER hide yarn that I buy from my husband! Of course I now have a hope chest FULL of various yarns for various projects, and "just to sample" and I TOO hide my yarn as I bring it into the house.

I just can't convince my husband to give it a try. He's so creative that I know he'd be wonderful but I think he thinks it would be too girly. Someday he'll listen to me and like everything else, he will find out I've been right all along.

2007-02-07T14:29:00.000-05:00

Beginning Again....

I created this blog spot sometime last summer but the idea of putting ME out there intimidated me a little. And honestly, I just couldn't figure out how to use it! Then my cousin encouraged me to create a MySpace space and I realized I enjoy having a space to just write whatever I want. But ya know, I feel just a little bit lame on MySpace because my son and my nieces and nephew are on it and as much as they don't want me reading about their escapades, I'm not sure I want them reading about mine!

So I am back here - beginning again. I'll try to keep it current and we'll see where it goes. I've read some great blogs on here and maybe my spot will become someone's favorite too.

To start me out, here is a picture of me. We went to Puerta(o?) Vallarta Mexico this past summer and went on a canopy ride through the forest. It was pretty neat and the bus ride there and back was almost as much fun. The parasailing and few days later - not so much fun!

I'll be back soon!