After a somewhat heated discussion with my sister this evening regarding Christmas gift giving to cousins and the amount we were planning on spending, I realized -- I refuse to go through life with a score card in my hand.
Her comments included "but you know you won't get anything close to that from L and you probably won't even get anything from J". To which I replied "That's not why I give gifts". The discussion was brought on when I said I planned to give gift certificates to two cousins and their significant others to a favorite restaurant in a particular amount of money. Her response was "Oh gift certificates are tough - then they know what you spent on them". Uh, ok...like they don't recognize the bottle from Bath and Body Works that you just bought 3 for $10? How is that any different than a gift certificate?
I have always felt if I have the means to give someone I gift I truly think they'll enjoy, why not give it? I don't keep a scorecard of what each relative did or didn't give me through the years and then compare it to what was spent on them. Heck, if that was the case, I would be ahead since they've been giving my son a gift for the last 21 years (and my sister has TWO kids who have been receiving gifts from the cousins for 21+ years).
You all probably think I'm crazy to even be buying gifts for cousins never mind nieces and nephews! Well the nieces and nephews are the easy ones - they get cash and an ornament! But seriously our whole family (well those that I have to buy for) is small enough that it doesn't really put a time crunch on buying the gifts. So I do what I do. For me it's the giving - not the receiving.
What do you think?
The Weeklies #205
15 hours ago
4 comments:
I have come to the same conclusion about 'keeping score'. Too many people in my life carry around mental score cards and keep track of what everybody else does. I've had enough of it, too! We can't live the rest of our lives feeling like we have to do something or not do something just because somebody else thinks we should. Even if it's somebody we love. You go ahead and give joy to the people in your family this Christmas, and if anybody faults you for it, it is their own issue to sort out, not yours. (And I'm so glad you're posting on your blog again!)
Agreed! It's way too easy to lose track of what really matters if there is a score card you are also keeping track of.
I'd rather have people remember how they feel around me over remembering I kept an even score card.
**I just removed a duplicate comment from Emilie! I must have published it twice
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