A Good Man

My father passed away on March 28th. He was 85 years old. He would have been 86 on June 5th.

He was a good, good man. A happy husband, a good father. He never minded having 3 girls and no boys - he taught us to play baseball anyway. He took us for bike rides and walks on Sundays to let my mother have time for herself. He rarely yelled at us and it was clear to us all that any discussions he and my mother might have were to be conducted behind closed doors and away from our ears.

His mother died when he was 2 and his father died when he was turning 11. His oldest brother was already married and he and his wife took care of my father, a sister and another brother. My father lived with them until he went off to WWII (thrilled to death to have space of his own), and when he came home shared a bedroom with one or two of his nephews. At his funeral one of those nephews marveled at all the time his "Uncle Yunkie" spent with him. Every night for an hour or so throwing a baseball back and forth.

Years later, he taught my son how to play golf and would take him to the driving range to hit a bucket of balls. Even up until he died he would always ask me "Hey, is Cody still playing golf?"

He lived in assisted living for 7 years or so after he had his heart bypass and leg amputation. He loved it but in September we noticed changes in him. Something wasn't right. Then right after New Year's the home had his sent to the emergency room to be checked out. By then my sisters and I had all agreed that he couldn't take care of himself anymore and would have to go to a nursing home. We brought him to one he had been for short term care in the past. It took him a little getting used to - having a roommate and all - but he was really settling in.

I think we all felt a sense of relief for him - knowing he was getting his pills on time and eating well and being kept clean. He had even perked up and seemed to almost be his old self again. That's why the phone call from the nursing home was such a shock. All of us - my two sisters and our husbands and all our kids - felt so lost and abandoned. He was the center of all of us.

I like to think that my mother told him it was time to "Get on up here!" and he knew in his heart it was time to go. I'm glad they are together again. But boy, do I miss him.